Arranging a Funeral - Home - Richard Steel and Partners · What to do when someone dies An expected death If the death occurs at home, you will need to contact the family doctor who

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of Funeral Directors

Arranging a Funeral

A Helpful GuideFollowing bereavement there are many unfamiliar tasks that will need to be addressed. The very personal natureof bereavement dictates that circumstances will vary.

Arranging a funeral is an intensely personal experienceand it will be our objective to carry out your wishes tothe best of our ability. We will act as sympathetic advisorand confidant and will be responsible for the efficientcompletion of the arrangements. We will liaise on yourbehalf with doctors, clergy, celebrants, cemeteries andcrematoria.

Every funeral is ‘unique’ in that it reflects the wishes ofthe family and takes place in different circumstances.Today, funerals have become much more personalised, so we are quite used to assisting with and/or advising on aspects like venues, music, vehicles, ceremony style,service sheets, newspaper notices. This booklet isdesigned to offer guidance on the options available,explain the legal complexities involved and help youmake the right decisions.

We are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year – simplytelephone for professional help when you need it.

© Richard Steel & Partners, The Family Owned Funeral Directors of Winchester - 01962 862333

Contents

What to do when someone dies 1

What does registering the death involve? 2-3

The ‘Tell us Once Service’ 3-4

How or why might the Coroner be involved? 4-5

How do I choose the right kind of funeral? 5-6

What happens at a burial? 6

What happens at a cremation? 7

Can you help with a Green/Woodland Funeral? 8

Music at a funeral 8

Putting a notice in the paper 9

How is the deceased cared for? 9

Jewellery 10

What about the ashes? 10

What happens about flowers? 10

...and about donations? 11

Can you provide printed orders of service? 11

Can I have a record of those who attended? 11

Coffin choice 12

A funeral is unique 12-13

New or existing memorials 14

How do I contact a bereavement counsellor? 15

What should I tell the children? 15

I need to administer the estate 16

Pre-arranged and pre-paid funerals 17

Notes 18


What to do when someone dies

An expected deathIf the death occurs at home, you will need to contact the family doctor who attended the deceased (or their out of hours duty system). Once a doctor hasattended please contact us and we will be able to provide guidance and support and will, if so desired,attend to remove the deceased to our Private Chapel of Rest. We offer a 24 hour service.

If the death occurs in hospital or in a nursing or residential home the staff will call the doctor and contactthe person named by the deceased as next of kin.

The deceased’s doctor will normally issue the following: � A Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (in a sealedenvelope).

� A formal notice which states that the doctor hassigned the medical certificate and should inform youhow and where to register the death. (See insideback cover regarding local Registration).

An unexpected deathIf there are any unusual circumstances, for instance if the death is accidental or unexpected then contact thepolice and do not touch anything in the room. The deathmay then be referred to the Coroner. (See ‘How or whymight the coroner be involved?).

Funeral arrangements in advance ofregistrationThere is no requirement to wait for the death to be registered with the Registrar of Births, Deaths andMarriages before contacting us to start making the necessary funeral arrangements. You may find it expedient to inform us of your initial thoughts, so we can make contact with the appropriate parties andpotentially secure a preferred venue, date and time. (See ‘How do I choose the right kind of funeral?).

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What does registering the deathinvolve?All deaths must be registered by the Registrar of Births,Deaths & Marriages within the district where the deathoccurred. We will inform you of the whereabouts of theRegistrar, their opening times and how to make anappointment. We may be able to provide you with transport if required.

The Registrar will require the Medical Certificate ofCause of Death issued by the doctor and the deceased’sMedical Card (if available), together with the followinginformation:

� Full name of the deceased.� The deceased’s date and place of death.� The deceased’s home address.� The deceased’s date and place of birth.� The deceased’s maiden name, if applicable.� The deceased’s former occupation, where relevant.� If married, date of birth of surviving spouse.� Name and address of the informant.� Informant’s qualification for registering.

The following persons may act as Informant, when registering:

� A relative of the deceased present at the death.� A relative of the deceased in attendance during the

last illness.� A relative of the deceased residing or being in the

sub-district where the death occurred.� A person present at the death.� The person causing the disposal of

the deceased (eg. person responsiblefor payment of the funeral expenses)

� As Funeral Directors we are NOTallowed to register a death.

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If the Registrar issues a Green Certificate this should behanded to your Funeral Director as soon as possible.

Certified Copies of the Entry of Death (often known asDeath Certificates) can be purchased for administrationof the estate. The Registrar may issue a Certificate ofRegistration or Notification of Death (free of charge) foryou to send to the Department of Works and Pensionswith any pension or allowance books.

Registration must be carried out within 5 days from the date of death. This may be extended if authorised by theRegistrar.

The ‘Tell Us Once’ ServiceWhen making an appointment for Registration, you maybe offered the option of using the ‘Tell Us Once’ service.This may save you some administration as it informs several departments and local services on your behalf.

You will need to bring the following information aboutthe deceased to the appointment (in addition to theRegistration procedure above)

� National Insurance number and date of birth� Details of any benefits or services they were receiving� Driving Licence� Passport� Blue Badge (disabled person’s parking badge)� Library Card

They will also ask for the following Contact Details

� Next of Kin� A surviving husband, wife or civil partner� The person dealing with the estate

(you must obtain the agreement of the persons listedabove if you are going to provide their information)

‘Tell Us Once’ can then inform:

Government DepartmentsDepartment of Work and PensionsH M Revenue and CustomsIdentity and Passport ServiceDriver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA)

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Local Council ServicesCouncil Housing • Housing Benefit • Council Tax •Council Tax Benefit • Blue Badge • Adult Services •Children’s Services • Electoral Services • Libraries •Monies owed to the Council

The information provided is treated securely and confidentially. The organisations who are contacted willuse the information to update records, end services orbenefits and entitlements as appropriate, and to resolveany outstanding issues.

Registration by DeclarationIf a visit to the Registrar in the district where the deathactually occurred is impractical, it is now possible to register by declaration in England and Wales. As this will involve two registry offices and the use of the postal system, this is likely to result in an additional delay before the funeral takes place. We can advise youon this procedure.

How or why might the coroner beinvolved?Naturally a sudden death together with the Coroner’sinvolvement can be very distressing. You may have anumber of questions. As trained professionals we arefully acquainted with all procedures and we are here tohelp and guide you. Be assured that the Coroner andtheir officers are working in your interest.

There are a number of reasons why a death may bereferred to H. M. Coroner and under such circumstancesdifferent procedural requirements and registration procedures will be necessary. However, these should not give you any cause for alarm.

The Coroner is usually qualified as a Doctor or Solicitorand is a judicial officer independent of local and centralgovernment who is required to act in accordance withthe law. Any sudden or unexplained death may bereported to the Coroner regardless of how it mayappear to have happened.

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Sometimes the Coroner will be able to determine bysimple enquiry whether the death was due to naturalcauses and that a Doctor is willing to issue a MedicalCertificate of Cause of Death. If so the death is registeredin the usual manner.

If this is not the case the Coroner may require a postmortem examination. This will often indicate thatthe death was due to natural causes and in such casesthere is NO inquest.

The Coroner will send a certificate to the Registrar so that the death can be registered. For a burial theGreen Certificate will be issued by the Registrar to handto the Funeral Director. For a cremation the Coronerwill issue a special certificate directly to the Funeral Directoror Crematorium and no Green Certificate is required.

If the death is due to unnatural causes (i.e. an accident)the Coroner is obliged to hold an INQUEST. This is aformal enquiry to establish a) the identity of the deceased;b) when, where and how the death occurred; c) thecause of death.

Usually an inquest will be adjourned to allow the funeralto take place and the Coroner will issue special certificates depending on whether it is a burial or a cremation. Preliminary Death Certificates may beobtained from the Coroner to help towards the administration of the estate. Once all the relevant factshave been established the inquest will be reopened (thismay be some weeks later) the results will be made public and the Coroner will ultimately inform theRegistrar officially.

How do I choose the right kind offuneral?Arranging a funeral is an intensely personal experienceand it will be our objective to help and guide you throughthe many choices and options available. Naturally youwill be given time to consider every decision, so that you can create a ceremony which gives full value andimportance to the wishes of the family and the deceased.

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The right kind of funeral ceremony? The funeral ceremony can take many forms, from a simplefamily gathering to a full service in a place of worship,either in advance of the burial or cremation or afterwardsas a Thanksgiving Service. Whether you are consideringa religious funeral or a non-religious ceremony, we arefully experienced and will be able to guide you throughthe many options available and put you in touch with theappropriate officiant to discuss the ceremony.

The right funeral venue?The venue may depend upon several factors.

� The type of funeral ceremony requested� The numbers expected to attend� Geographical location of family and the deceased’s address� Preference for religious or non-religious ceremony

Again, we are experienced in assisting with the optionsavailable to meet your needs and expectations.

Burial or Cremation? What happens at a burial?If you propose to use a new plot in a Cemetery orChurchyard we will advise you of the options available.For a burial in an existing grave in a public cemetery theDeeds of the grave may be important. The Deeds maybe with the deceased’s personal papers. There will be no Deed if the grave is in a Churchyard. Usually there will be a funeral service in a church/chapel or at the graveside. The interment can be a very emotional experience and you may wish this part to be for closefamily only or you may welcome the support from friends.

During the brief words of committal the coffin is gentlylowered into the grave – your Funeral Director may scatter a little earth or petals. You may also wish to scatter a little earth on the coffin yourself or to place aflower in the grave. Afterwards the floral tributes will be displayed nearby for everyone to see.

We can arrange for a temporary marker to be placed onthe grave whilst the necessary time elapses before a permanent memorial can be erected.

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What happens at a cremation?The funeral may begin with a religious ceremony in a churchor perhaps a non-religious ceremony at another locationaway from the Crematorium. Alternatively the wholeceremony may be in the Crematorium chapel. Usually atwenty to thirty minute service is the maximum available,although an additional time can be booked at an extracost. If you are making your own way to the Crematoriumplease allow yourself plenty of time.

Often the family will follow behind the coffin as it is borne into the chapel. However many people choose togo in ahead to settle themselves first. During the wordsof committal the coffin will be hidden from sight by a curtain or may descend from view depending on the crematorium. It is important for you to know that thecoffin remains in the chapel, although hidden, until thecongregation have departed. Alternatively you may prefer to request that the coffin should remain on viewin the Chapel until you have left. All cremations are carried out individually to a strict Code of Practice. Some Crematoria are unable to accept coffins abovespecific dimensions. If this occurs we will advise you ofthe alternatives.

It is not compulsory to attend the Crematorium, manyfamilies will have the complete ceremony at one location, after which the coffin is taken unaccompanied to the cremation with us providing the necessary staffand transport. Alternatively some families will have abreak between the ceremony and the committal to allow for a reception. We are happy to discuss all options with you.

Several crematoria have the facility to record or webcastthe service for family or friends who cannot attend –please ask for details and costs.

An organist can be arranged toaccompany hymn singing andmusic choices should be carefully considered to furtherpersonalise the ceremony (See‘Music at a funeral’).

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Can you help with a Green/Woodlandfuneral?There has been much media coverage about woodlandburial cemeteries. Many private companies and somelocal authorities have reacted positively to the need for‘green’ alternatives.

We have wide experience in helping families withWoodland and Green funerals and are very familiar with the preferred specification and procedures.

We offer an extensive choice of biodegradable coffinsincluding willow, bamboo, woollen, water hyacinth andbanana leaf to suit your personal wishes.

Further details are available on our website with links tolocal burial options. We would recommend visiting thepotential locations, so you can see the facilities andappreciate the differences between them.

Music at a funeralThe personal choice of appropriate music is often veryimportant. We will be able to advise you on the variousoptions available and may be able to help with any additional equipment required. If the service is in churchwe will need to obtain permission from the incumbentbefore certain music can be played.

Most of our local Crematoria use the Wesley MusicSystem (www.wesleymusic.co.uk) and DO NOT acceptCDs any longer – we will advise you of those that do. The Wesley Music system have a General List at each Crematoria that can be searched easily online.They are usually able to source the vast majority of commercially available music, if given sufficient time and asmuch detail as possible.

It is essential that any music is discussedand agreed at least 72 hours in advanceof the funeral. This will ensure there istime for delivery, downloading or rehearsal and may avoid disappointmentif something is handed to the FuneralDirector at the last minute.

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Putting a notice in the paperYou may wish to announce the death, and give details of the funeral arrangements in a local, national or international newspaper. We can assist you with this and help with the wording should you need it. We can advise you regarding instructions for flowers or charitable donations. You may also wish to consider an‘acknowledgement’ notice at a later date.

How is the deceased cared for?After the removal from the place of death the deceasedis cared for at our premises prior to being placed in thechosen coffin for viewing in readiness for the funeral. The deceased may be dressed in a gown provided by usor clothing provided by the family (please note that some crematoria do not allow personal clothing).

We recommend the provision of hygienic treatment for the deceased where families are planning to visit theChapel of Rest or where there may be a lengthy periodbetween the death and the funeral. Hygienic treatment is carried out by qualified staff and enhances the presentation and preservation of the deceased. We will be happy to answer any questions you may have on thisprocedure.

May I see the deceased before thefuneral?Certainly. Families may like the opportunity to visit theChapel of Rest and our staff will always discuss the matterbeforehand if you are uncertain. Only occasionallymay our professional opinion be that this is inadvisable.We will accompany you into the Chapel if you are concerned about this visit.

Our beautifully appointed private Chapels of Rest areopen by appointment. Photographs, letters or other small personal items can be brought to the chapel andplaced in the coffin but you should discuss this with yourFuneral Director to ensure that there are no restrictionsset by the Crematorium.

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JewelleryIt is important that instructions left by the deceased withregard to personal effects (e.g. Wedding rings) are observed.

The family may also have specific wishes in this respect.If such items are to be removed your Funeral Directorshould be instructed by the executors and arrangementsmade for their collection before the funeral.

What about the ashes?There are various options regarding the final resting placefor the ashes of the deceased. These include � The crematorium garden of remembrance, which

can include an entry in the Book of Remembrance or other memorialisation.

� Burial in a churchyard or cemetery, either locally ornationally, in a new grave or existing family plot.

� A private scattering if there is a special place that isappropriate.

� Other options include a woodland burial, special gardens of remembrance or burial at sea.

Whatever your final decision you will be given time toconsider all the options. You may wish us to hold theashes until you have decided, although we reserve theright to charge for storage or to scatter them after a yearif no other instructions have been received.

We have a large selection of suitable caskets, scattertubes and urns for the ashes, including memento andminiature sizes for keepsakes. Please ask us for full details.

What happens about flowers?Floral tributes can be an expressionof respect and love for a life. Wecan assist you with ordering tributes. When there are morethan a small number of tributes weremove, if requested, the messagecards and prepare a presentationbooklet for you.

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… and about donations? Nowadays more and more families choose to havedonations to a charity instead of, or in addition to, flowers. It may be that the deceased has indicated a particular charity to benefit or that the family need toconsider an appropriate one. The details of the donationsare often published in the newspaper announcementand are usually sent care of the Funeral Director.

Each donation will be acknowledged by us (where anaddress has been supplied) including the opportunity toGift Aid. After approximately six weeks a list will be compiled for the family showing the total collected. Thecheques will be sent to the nominated charity (or charities)requesting an acknowledgement be sent to the family.

When available, donations may be made online via ourwebsite. We can create a tribute page for the deceasedwhich can be personalised with photos, memories andthe opportunity for donors to leave personal messagesfor the family. This memorial tribute page can be maintained by the family after the funeral.

Can you provide printed orders ofservice?Yes, we can. Many people like to keep some after theservice and send one to anyone who may not have beenable to attend. We have a number of examples showingdifferent styles, motifs, typefaces or photographs for thefront cover. Full colour service sheets are also available.It is essential to liaise with the officiant to help compilethe content and sequence of the ceremony.

Can I have a record of those whoattended?� We can provide printed attendance cards (often known

as pew cards) for members of the congregation tocomplete. They also give the opportunity for attendeesto inform you of their connection to the deceased.

� We can also provide a Book of Remembrance for the congregation to complete.

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Coffin choiceWhether the funeral is to be a burial or a cremation,there are many different styles of coffin available. Theseare a few examples, please see our website for details.

� Veneered oak or mahogany� Bamboo� Imported Willow� Cardboard� Colourful coffins� Water Hyacinth and Banana Leaf� Solid oak or mahogany� Somerset Willow� American style Caskets

A funeral is uniqueEvery funeral is ‘unique’ in that it reflects the wishes ofthe family and takes place in different circumstances.Today, funerals have become much more personalisedand we are accustomed to receiving what may well be considered unusual requests. For example pipers,soloists, catering, marquees at the ceremony or graveside, sound systems, choirs, jazz bands, buglers,doves, recording of the service or webcasting of theservice for those away from the area (subject to availability). Obviously this list is not exhaustive and if youare considering anything, please do not hesitate to ask us.

Alternative vehiclesThe following are a sample ofalternative vehicles which we canhire in for a funeral. Many of thesetravel from across the country, sotheir availability may be limited andthe cost will include their traveltime to our premises. Alternativesinclude: Motorcycle hearses, RollsRoyce/Bentley vehicles (new andvintage), Land Rover 4x4 fleet, a Pinkhearse, Silver vehicles, a LondonBus, a Tank Hearse – simply contactus for more information.

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Funerals at a distanceIt may be that you wish for the whole funeral or just theburial or cremation to take place away from the localarea. We are quite used to this and distance is no object.We will be able to advise on the costs involved and howbest to facilitate your wishes.

Burials at SeaWe have the experience and expertise to carry out thisservice and will assist in the liaison with the appropriateauthorities in order to gain the necessary permission. As the specification is quite exact we will be able to giveyou an estimate of the cost involved and arrange a dateand time (subject to weather conditions!).

International RepatriationsIt may be that you wish the deceased to be moved to orfrom another country. As a member of the NationalAssociation of Funeral Directors we are fully conversantwith the complexities of these types of funerals and willliaise with the necessary consular officials, airlines, andCoroner to ensure the special requirements are properlyhandled.

ExhumationsOccasionally it may be necessary to move the deceasedfrom one grave or ashes plot to another. This can be for legal reasons or because of family wishes and maysometimes involve considerable distance. We can discussyour requirements and the legal necessities should youneed to consider this.

Horse drawn funeralsThis type of traditional funeral procession is readily available. The choices include 2 or 4 horses in black orgrey with matching black orwhite hearse with possible following carriages. Distancemay be the only limiting factor.Please ask us for details.

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New or existing memorialsAfter a burial, you may wish to order a new memorial orto have an inscription added to an existing memorial.

Cemeteries and churchyards have different regulationsregarding what is allowed in terms of material, size, finish,lettering styles and colour. We recommend you spendsome time having a look at other existing memorials inthe place of the burial, as this may assist you with ideas.

The words for the proposed memorial are naturally veryimportant and should be chosen carefully. You may alsowish to consider leaving space for a further inscription indue time.

Once you have decided what you would like or if youneed some advice on more options available, we recommend you contact one of our preferred localStonemasons (please see the Memorials page on ourwebsite for their details). They will be able to provideyou with a full estimate of the costs, a proof of the proposed layout of the wording and a timescale. Theywill also assist with gaining the necessary permission fromthe appropriate cemetery authority or incumbent of thechurchyard so the memorial can be formally ordered.

The Stonemasons are also able to assist with the cleaningand restoration of existing memorials and the addition ofa further inscription following an interment.

Traditionally a new full sized headstone should not beplaced on a grave until at least 6-12 months have elapsedto allow time for the ground to settle again. In the meanwhile, we can supply a temporary marker be placedon the grave to mark the plot for visiting family and friends.

There are no such restrictions for small plaques andvases for ashes, as these can be placed immediately uponcompletion of the chosen memorial. Some families willconsider delaying the interment of ashes until the smallmemorial is ready for placement at the sametime. However, this may delay any intermentfor a minimum of 8-12 weeks.

Please see our website or contact us fordetails of a preferred local Stonemason.

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How do I contact a bereavement counsellor?The support and advice of your Funeral Director will notnecessarily end with the funeral. Should you feel theneed for any additional help please do not hesitate tocontact us. It may be that you (or one of your family ora child) requires some support and could be helpedthrough this difficult time by a trained and skilled counsellor who will be able to ‘lend an ear’.

We will be able to put you in contact with counsellorswho work closely with us.

What should I tell the children?Understandably this is a difficult subject and we are oftenasked whether children should attend a funeral or visit ourChapel of Rest. Naturally this will depend upon the age ofthe child, their relationship with the person who has died,and whether they have expressed a wish to do so. Eachchild is different and will react as an individual. From ourexperience you may find the following information helpful.

It is important that a child is told as quickly as possiblewhen there is a death in the family. The news should be given by the person closest to them in a simple andstraightforward manner. Do not be afraid to use thewords ‘died’ or ‘dead’ and be careful with the pictures you may create in the child’s mind – they need to agreewith what the child actually knows or has seen.

Encourage the child to talk about the deceased and toask questions; answer these briefly but truthfully – you maybe surprised how supportive and accepting the child can be.

To help you we recommend a book called ‘Badger’sParting Gifts’ (ISBN 0-00-664317-5) alternatively‘Waterbugs & Dragonflies’ (ISBN 0-8264-7181-1) available from good bookstores.

We have a supply of booklets called‘Remember Me Always’. These are anexcellent handbook to help bereavedfamilies care for grieving children – theyare available free of charge.

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I need to administer the estate. What do I have to do?Before an estate can be realised and distributed amongstthe beneficiaries a Grant of Probate or Letters ofAdministration will be required. The simplest way toensure this is carried out correctly is to instruct aSolicitor, Bank or Probate Specialist to act for you. Thisneed not necessarily involve you in great expense, but itwill ensure that all the correct allowances are applied for,bills are paid, returns to the relevant tax offices are dealt with promptly, and any life assurance or pensionentitlements are correctly claimed.

� Probate is required where the deceased HAS left a Will. The Will must be ‘proved’ before theProbate Registr y of the High Cour t. Upon completion the executors named in the Will areable to administer the estate.

� Letters of Administration are required where thedeceased HAS NOT left a Will. The deceased is saidto have died Intestate and the question then arises asto who should administer the estate. Here againapplication has to be made to the Court, usually bythe next of kin, and when the Court is satisfied, theywill issue a document (Letters of Administration)appointing the applicant as administrator of the estate.

� Where the estate is small it is possible for the assetsto be realised without making applications for aGrant. The local Probate Registry Office willadvise you of the maximum asset value applicablein such circumstances.

� Motor Insurance cover on a vehicle owned by thedeceased ceases upon death. The insurance companyshould be informed immediately and arrangementsmade for a transfer. The vehicle registration documentshould be returned for transfer of ownership andthe deceased’s driving licence should be returnedto the DVLA.

� Passports. Any current passport should be returnedto The Passport Office.

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Pre-Arranged and Pre-Paid FuneralsMany people consider it expedient to make funeralarrangements for themselves, or someone close to them,in advance. We are happy to discuss your wishes and are able to retain confidential files on individualrequirements. These discussions can be as comprehensiveas you desire.

It is also possible to pay in advance for funeral arrangements. We offer the choice of set pre-arrangedplans or a personally tailored service to suit your individual requirements.

Unless your family change these wishes on your death,the Funeral Directors fees are paid and no further payment will be required. The Disbursements we pay on your behalf (i.e. the cemetery, crematorium, churchfees etc) are linked to inflation. It is important that a sufficient contribution towards the Disbursements ismade at the time of purchasing a plan to cover theexpected fees and the likely above inflationary rises outside the Funeral Directors control.

Advantages of a Pre-Payment Plan� You choose your own funeral arrangements.

� You save your family from having to make difficultdecisions and from a possible financial burden.

� There are no age limits or health restrictions.

� Our fees are guaranteed with the disbursements rising in line with the plan value.

� Payment can be made by either convenient monthly instalments or by a one-offlump sum.

� You select your preferredFuneral Director with a reputation for quality familycare.

Please feel free to ask us forfurther information.

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Notes

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Documents

Arranging a Funeral - Home - Richard Steel and Partners · What to do when someone dies An expected death If the death occurs at home, you will need to contact the family doctor who