All I Need to Know About Life I Learned From My Dog

8/3/2019 All I Need to Know About Life I Learned From My Dog

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All I Need to Know about Life I Learned from My Dog

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want. If at first you don't succeed, beg. Don't go out without I.D. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by peeing on their

shoes.

Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap. Always give people a friendly greeting. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility for it (as soon as

you're dragged out from under the bed).

If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.

o My Dog's Philosophy of Life: "Life is short; bite hard."o "Can I become the person my dog thinks I am?" or:o "I hope I can become the person my dog thinks I am." or:o "I hope I can grow up to be the person my dog thinks I am." and:o my karma ran over my dogma

(What's that? I don't have a dog? Oh. Never mind....)


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Things We Learn from Our Dogs

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others know when they've invaded your territory. Take naps and stretch before rising. Run, romp and play daily. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them

gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and

pout...run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.


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Dog Proverbs

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies." -- Gene Hill "In dog years I'm dead" -- Unknown "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case

the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." --

Dave Barry

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his waterbowl." -- Penny Ward Moser

"The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage." -- Danish Proverb "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's

too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx.

"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight itsenemies is lunch." -- Michael Friedman

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." --Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three timesbefore lying down." -- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that ishow dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all nightwondering if there really is a Dog?" -- Unknown

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wronganswers." -- Unknown

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts tobite people themselves." -- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutelycertain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from agrocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must

think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler


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"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." --Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $1. 99 a can.That's almost $17.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will

go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person withpets." -- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you arewonderful." -- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and getused to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should havea dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce,

Taipei, Taiwan

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- BenWilliams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey "Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like

the dog did it." -- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.." --Unknown

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dogdoes." -- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." --Josh Billings

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -- Andrew A.

Rooney


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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, hislove, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.

You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion" -- Unknown

"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dogwould go in." -- Mark Twain

"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." --Abraham Lincoln

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."-- Unknown

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." --Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt,and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." -- John Steinbeck

"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can'tdecide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives." -- Rita Rudner

"Can I become the person my dog thinks I am?" or: "I hope I can become the person my dog thinks I

am." or: "I hope I can grow up to be the person my dog thinks I am." and: my karma ran over my dogma

After you died, Saint Anthony,God chose to make your holiness known to the worldand to draw people by working miraclesin answer to prayers made in your name.

Since then, people have asked Godto continue to honor youby working wonders through your intercession.

Those who have experienced the power of prayers offered in your namehave told how God has answered them.

God has healed the sick,restored peace of mind,relieved poverty, and granted favors of all kinds.

Now in this time of need, I ask you, Saint Anthony,to pray with me for the things I desire.

I pray that Lennox the therapy dog is returned to his family alive and well, to live out his life according to God's Divine plan.

I pray that God may again give us a sign of loving careand providence and that, through you,God may draw us all to the fullness of life and love in eternity.


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I said a prayer for you todayand I know God must have heard,I felt the answer in my heartalthough He spoke no word.I didn't ask for wealth or fame -I knew you wouldn't mind -I asked him to send treasures

of a far more lasting kind.I asked that He be near youat the start of each new day,To grant you health and blessingsand friends to share your way.I asked for happiness for youIn all things great and small;But it was for His loving careI prayed for most of all!

~Author Unknown

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All I Need to Know About Life I Learned From My Dog