Agony Churns My Heart

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    gony Churns

    My Heart

    -  HARIHAR JHA

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    Published by: OnlineGatha  –  The Endless Tale

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    Indranagar, Lucknow, 226016 

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    © All Rights including Copyrights reserved with the Authors.

    OnlineGatha is a division of CompAddicts Infotech Pvt.

    Ltd. Established in the month of January 2014, the site is a step into the

    online literary world. It works by connecting the hardcopy creations to

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    INDEX

    TITLES  PAGEFore Foreword 7

    Preface 9 

    My Death 13

    Blackens Your Face 15

    A Prank 16

    A Half Poet 17

    An Exam 18

    Silently Expressive! 19

    Lotus in the Mud 20

    Make a Move 21

    Let Them Blossom 22

    Don't Feel Shy 23

    The Cave 24

    I am Silent 25

    In the Rain 26

    PLEASURE OR PAIN? 27

    I don’t know why?  28

    Agony churns my heart 29

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    LIVE AND LET LIVE  30

    My friend! 31

    The Horse 32

    Moment 33

    Since I left the caves 34

    Crake of dawn 35

    Valentine's day 36

    Your sweet memory 37

    A Gulmohr Tree 38

    The Heartache 39

    Love is the essence of life 40

    My mother 41

    My Paper-Made Boat 42

    Be it Kargil or Gallipoli 43

    Smiled the Sun 44

    My Ego 45

    Desert Me Not 46

    Getting Sadistic Pleasure 47

    The boredom 48

    Paradox 49

    Poor Me 50

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    Promise 51

    You are a bore darling 52

    Autumn 53

    For Her Hundred Questions 54

    In love 55

    It is dawn 56

    Lisa! 57

    My Father 58

    Ram and Ravan 59

    The terrible hurricane 60

    The Gunpowder of Abhorrence 61

    The weather 62

    Towards The Sky 63

    A Spiritual Feel! 64

    A Fall in Love 65

    Cheers Or Jeers 66

    Eyes Dripping Tears 67

    Hobbits disappeared 68

    Hunger - 3 Faces 69

    Long live hypocrisy 70

    Love is an illusion 71

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    My will and pleasure 72

    She Is The Girl 73

    Your look 74

    Why Torture? 75

    Birds 76

    Hunger And Gloom 77

    Folly of the wisdom 78

    Mask 79

    Who Is Wrong? 80

    Her Teasing Face 81

    The Camera 82

    Stunning Melbourne 83

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    7

    Foreword

    Harihar Rai Jha –  known widely as Harihar Jha –  is by birth at

    thinker, devotee from the devout class, the Jhas. He took to poesy as

    a duck takes to water for it has been his fond passion to think,

    imagine and give expression to his fancy and feelings.

    Churning Heart is a collection of poems on a variety of subjects,

    themes, ruminations, a conglomeration of ideas and imaginative

    flights. Variety is the hall mark of Harihar’s imaginative-creative

    oeuvre. The speakers of some of the poems are the figments of the

    poet’s imagination. Deep cerebration and gumption for quick

    expression characterize the work of this poet which lingers long in

    the reader’s imaginative understanding. There are moments of

    intense thinking and sublime expression as in the following lines

    which are ubiquitous in this collection.

    Enough of mutual hatred, friends!

    Have nectar of peace to dive

    Death has danced enough so far

    It’s era of Live and Let Live 

    Understanding the biology of poetic creation makes a poet a unique

    creator:

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    It gives inspiration and decorates

    Noble souls with a garland of flames

     Agony churns my heart  And lo! A poem emerges as a smile.

    -Dr V.V.B.Rama Rao

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    PREFACE

    What is a poem? The question is as much hardas to

    define life of oneself. Any definition is a constraint on

    either. I have passed through some definitions of poetry

    but intuitively I love the concept of "Satyam, Shivam,

    Sundaram". Every poem touches some part of it.

    Satyam : The concept of truth doesn't care about bitterness

    or even ugliness in it which is often seen in modern

    poetry. Thanks to Freud, he unearthed the animal hidden in

    man. The psychoanalytical research has influenced every

    field in the art including poetry :

    Flame of burning fire trying to embrace When out of control, it blackens your face

    In humans, instinct of love is supreme Dance, art and literature have the same theme Suppressed love is anger poised to slaughter like a thirsty man fighting for water

    Shivam :Taking responsibility for one's own thought and optimism in

     poetry is often reflected in life that leads to Shivam

    The shooting star disappeared

    Wrote on the sky with precision

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    Cheers and jeers whatever you want

    You will get in your own vision

    Sundaram:Romanticism prevalent in poetry falls in this category.

    What a mystery in the attraction of opposite!

     Your dead silence is very frightening

    so much mysterious is your laughter

    no escape! you are thunder and lightening !

    to merge in you I come tumbling after

    It sometimes leads toobsessive passion :

    Me getting infatuated

    Your invincible smile to blind

     And in flood of existence

     A jingle chorus in my mind Then it turns romantic as the feeling of love matures.

     Your charming, melodious, titillating song

    drunk in desire, still innocent quite

    in a wave of love so high and strong

    your beauty like rainbow pleasant and bright

    And thus poetry takes us to the journey of our life. If life

    and death are two sides of a coin, poem is the coin itself.

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    With love I am ready to be breakfast next

    Death licking me while I taste my death

    My soul is fulfilled but ego perplexed

    So a poet must handle every poemcarefully . A fractured poem may make its poet popular but it will injure the heart of poet.

    I inflicted wounds on all my poems They were sobbing in tears, What a disgrace! with clothes on their body I hide my sin! no one can notice cuts on their faces 

    Such poems are all just pornographic jokes, you appreciate fantastically but my heart knows the praise showered on me should be told very sarcastically 

     A real poem emerges from heart:

    Agony churns my heart

    And lo! A poem emerges with a smile!

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     ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

    I acknowledge the contribution of my mother and father for

    their blessings and my careful nurture and of my brothers

    for their intellectual companionship. I also acknowledge hereditary contribution of my grandfather whom I have

    never seen but whose stories as “pioneer and the first

    English Teacher” still prevail as folklore in my hometown. I

    am grateful to my wife and children for their support in

    writing. Also I am grateful to ShriRajenderKrishan and Ms

    AparnaChatterjee from Boloji.com for building my confidence

    on writing poems and to ShriRamaraoVadapalli for his kind

    remarks.

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    My Death

    The Death has drawn a line on me Mind in blunder, my heart in wonder

    I see the death coming near me

    Spreading black veil, making me blind

    Shaking my bones, and veins are blown

    A wave in melody piercing my mind

    Song from the birds rolling on a death cup

    What clouds reveal, wet fragrance I feel

    From earth to cosmos, umbrella opens up

    With love I am ready to be breakfast next

    Death licking me while I taste my death

    My soul is fulfilled but ego perplexed

    The world is dissolved, I’m going to die 

     Nothingness looming and silence blooming

    Peace everywhere I’m flying in the sky. 

    Order from heavens passing my ears

    Take me my dear with joy and cheers

    People around me why shedding tears?

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