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Is Anger Good or Bad
Bad GoodCan motivate and
energize us to do better
Can give us a direction to work towards
Can give strength to work against injustice
Can lead to aggression and destruction
Can lead to impulsive decisions we regret later
Can create hostility between people
Anger Vs. Aggression
Anger
Is an emotion
Can be good or bad
Need not be directed at others
Is normal and natural
Aggression
Is a behaviour
Is always harmful
Directed at others
Can be controlled
Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to you. And that matters, because how you act leads to consequences.
Aggression Also Means…
Defying authorityBullyingYellingBreaking Things Interrupting
SarcasmGossipingSpreading rumoursExcludingSitting alone
Consequences for the Victim
Emotional - sadness, fear, guilt, low self-esteemPhysical – injury, frequent illnessesSocial – isolation, inability to make friendsAcademic – inability to concentrate, dropoutBehavioural – smoking, drinking, eating too
much/too little, school refusal
Being a victim of bullying can affect every part of our lives
Identify Your Triggers
FailureDisappointmentNot getting things your wayFeeling insultedPerceiving unfairnessFrustrationStress
Watch your thoughts
• You did that on purpose…
• You wanted to hurt me…
• You deserve this…
• You never even asked me…
• You’re being unreasonable…
• You think you’re so good…
• I’ll show you…
• You started it…
• That’s not fair…
Catch it at the Right time
Inte
rnal
cu
es
• Stomach gets tight/upset
• Heart is beating faster
• Clenching fists
• Feel myself getting flushed
• Pressure on my temples
• Sweaty palms
• Clenched jaw
Express Yourself Write a diary Talk to a friend Paint
Channelize Your Energy
Go for a jog Dance Play a sport Regularize Breathing
Problem Solve Try to look at situation
objectively Look at alternatives Evaluate various options. Be sporty to “try” a new one
Be Regular with Sleep Appetite Recreation
Stop the Blame Game
Stop Blame Don’t blame
yourself or others Blaming does not
give solutions Consider situational
factors
Talk to the “Culprit” Put yourself in other’s
shoes Give your point of view Listen to the other’s
view Reason Try to ‘forgive’
Styles of Communication
Aggressive: Being a…. Bulldozer!!
Passive: Being a… Door Mat!!
Passive Aggressive - Being a… Sniper!!
Assertive: Being a… Sign Board!!
How To Be Assertive?
Do Be aware of your emotions
and triggers Look for mutually
acceptable alternatives. Be specific and clear Express your reasons and
feelings Listen to the other Use “I” statements Give feedback about
behaviour Accept and Apologize when
you make a mistake Include positive messages Talk one on one
Don’t Make excuses Apologize for asking Always give in Put yourself down Blame yourself or others Criticise the person Interrupt Be sarcastic Shout Use physical force Use threats
Saying NO
Use assertive body languageDecide on your position before speakingDon’t apologise when it’s not necessaryDon’t make excuses when not necessaryDon’t ask permission to say noDon’t wait for acceptance – accept the consequencesThe Broken Record Technique
If you see someone being bullied
Get help from an adult Be a friend to the person being bullied Help the person get away from the situation Don’t give bullying an audience Set a positive example
If you walk away and get help, you’re part
of the solution.
If you stay and watch, you’re part of
the problem.