6 Ways You Could Be Kidding Yourself In Your Career

8/7/2019 6 Ways You Could Be Kidding Yourself In Your Career

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6 Ways You Could Be Kidding

Yourself In Your Career.

When it comes to your career, do you lie to yourself? The answer is mostlikely ‘yes.’ In an article I read by Sam Sommers, a professor of psychology at

Tufts University, he explains how and why we like to kid ourselves. Heexplains:“People do this all the time. We bend the facts to fit our self-image,

perpetuating a view of ourselves that is often more positive thanaccurate.”In fact, Sommers outlines the six main ways we use self-deception to makeourselves feel better. As I read each one, various people came to mind and Irealized many professionals use these forms of self-deception in theircareers. And, while Sommers argues that some self-deception is effective asa coping mechanism to keep us from falling prey to feelings of helplessnessor depression. Overall, the tools we use to kid ourselves cause problems.Let’s take a look at each one:

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Rationalization

Often accompanied by denial, rationalization is used to justify things we dothat we know are wrong. For example, the employee who submits fakereceipts on his expense report to get a few extra bucks every month and saysto himself, “Everyone does it. And besides, the company doesn’t pay meenough.” Or, the job seeker who lies on their resume to get the interview andvalidates it with, “Their candidate criteria is unrealistic…it’s the only way I’ll

get the chance to prove I’m the right person for the job.”

To sum it up, rationalization is the way we allow ourselves to take short cuts,avoid extra work and exploit resources.

QUESTION: What have you rationalized recently to make yourself feel betterabout a choice or decision at work that, deep down, you knew wasquestionable?

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The Better-Than-Average Effect

Sommers shares an amazing example of this. He regularly asks his classeshow strong their social skills are. Based on a scale of 1-10, with 1 beingtotally socially inept and 10 being the best. Here’s what he experiences:“When I ask my students this in class, the average response is aneight or a nine. Even when I tell them to limit their comparisongroup to Tufts students, far more that have tell me their social skillsare better than average. Impressive, no? Either I’m the luckiest

professor at the university or a large percentage of those studentsare kidding themselves.”Sommers explains the ‘I’m better-than-average’ mentality is quite popular.He cites one study showed 86% of managers believe they are more ethicalthan their peers. Let’s be honest, how many times have you thought toyourself, “I’m better than my co-workers.” Better still, when’s the last timeyou contemplated how much better you are than your boss?

QUESTION: When it comes to your job, are you really as good as you thinkyou are?

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Illusions of Control

This is when we think, even in spite of the odds, we can manage the outcomeof a situation. For example, many workers think that if they do their job welland stay ‘under-the-radar’ at work, then they should be able to keep their jobas long as they want it. I’m pretty sure a lot of people were using this self deception tool this past year and learned the hard way it doesn’t work. 13Mpeople are unemployed and learning first-hand that there is no such thing ascontrollable job security.

QUESTION: Do you think your hard-working efforts on-the-job ensure a job isyours for as long as you want it?

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Basking in Reflected Glory

This is my favorite self deception tool because it explains why we are drawnto those with great amounts of professional success. Sommers explains,“People are social animals. We spend much of our lives seeking out and managing bonds with others. It should come as no surprise, then, that whenwe’re trying to feel good about ourselves, we frequently call to mind our more illustrious associations, basking in their reflected glory.”

In common language, we like to brag about our association with winners. Sotrue! Why is it that people love to share their conversations with higher-upsas a way to up their own worth? Better still, why do we gladly take credit forour associations with successful projects at work, but tend to downplay ourinvolvement in those that failed?

QUESTION: Who or what do you like to brag about as a way to improve yourprofessional credibility?

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Downward Social Comparison

So, what happens when a person we view as our equal suddenly becomesmore successful than us? How do we react when we are faced with the realitythat we really aren’t better-than-average? Simple. We start to compareourselves to the least successful people we know. Sommers gives someinteresting evidence to support the fact that, sometimes, there’s nothing likeother people’s struggles to make us feel better about our own plight. i.e. ourown financial challenges never seem as bad when we see people inforeclosure.

QUESTION: When someone you view as a peer (i.e. coworker) is doing betterthan you professionally, do you react by spending time with folks who youfeel certain will always be one step behind you?

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Self-Handicapping

Last, but by no means least, self-handicapping is when we chose to actuallysabotage our own performance to ensure our ego stays in tact. The mostcommon example of this is the student who stays out all night before thetest. If they fail, they have an excuse, and if they pass, they get to brag aboutthe accomplishment in spite of no studying. In the work world, people do thisall the time too! Anyone who has put off a tough work assignment until theeleventh hour is guilty of this. In fact, I think self-handicaping is the mostcommon way people hold themselves back from advancing in their career.It’s easy to validate a lack of career progression when we undermine our ownefforts.

QUESTION: Have you ever justified an inability to move forward in yourcareer based on outside distractions (ie. significant other, personalcommitments, etc.)

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6 Ways You Could Be Kidding Yourself In Your Career