21 Days to Fab Networking

An Uptown Scoop Publication by John Beta

www.UptownScoop.com

Phone 770-842-3468

© Lynne Fair Media, Inc

21 Days to

Fabulous Networking

2 1 D A Y S T O F A B U L O U S N E T W O R K I N G

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Table of Contents

A “Fabulous” Approach to Developing Yourself.................................................................... 6

Course Objectives...................................................................................................................... 7

Day 1 – Defining Moments........................................................................................................ 8 Defining “Fabulous Networking”............................................................................................ 8 What’s In It For Me? (WIIFM) .............................................................................................. 10 Who Am I and Where Am I Going? ........................................................................................ 11 Day 1 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 16

Day 2 – What Makes Me Special?.......................................................................................... 17 Day 2 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 19

Day 3 – Myself in 30 Seconds.................................................................................................. 20 My 30 Second Speech ............................................................................................................. 20 Developing My 30 Second Speech.......................................................................................... 21 Day 3 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 23

Day 4 - Delivering My 30 Second Speech .............................................................................. 24 The Three Ways to Communicate........................................................................................... 24 Body Language – How Your Message Looks ......................................................................... 25 Day 4 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 27

Day 5 – The Threads of a Network ........................................................................................ 28 Trust Breakers ........................................................................................................................ 28 Trust Builders......................................................................................................................... 29 Networking = Sincere Engagement = Greater Trust ............................................................. 31 Day 5 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 32

Day 6 – Progress Review......................................................................................................... 33

Day 7 – Hey, I Already Have a Network ............................................................................... 34 Who Is In My Network?.......................................................................................................... 34 Nurturing My Network ........................................................................................................... 36 Leveraging My Network ......................................................................................................... 37 Day 7 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 38

Day 8 – Re-networking............................................................................................................ 39 Reconnecting With Acquaintances ......................................................................................... 39


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Day 8 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 40

Day 9 – New Places, New People, Bigger Network ............................................................... 41 Consider These Places ........................................................................................................... 41 Consider These People........................................................................................................... 42 Consider This Network Structure ........................................................................................... 42 Networking is an Activity, Therefore be Active ...................................................................... 44 Day 9 Review and Assessment................................................................................................ 45

Day 10 – Fabulous Communication ....................................................................................... 46 Putting Others First ............................................................................................................... 46 Use Their Name...................................................................................................................... 46 Reintroduce, It’s Okay............................................................................................................ 46 Watch Your Space .................................................................................................................. 46 Compliments – They’re Free.................................................................................................. 46 Body Language – Worth a Review ......................................................................................... 47 Listening, Really Listening ..................................................................................................... 47 Learn From Great Networkers............................................................................................... 48 Day 10 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 49

Day 11 – Progress Review....................................................................................................... 50

Day 12 – Making Connections at Networking Events .......................................................... 51 Attitude is Everything ............................................................................................................. 51 Preparation is 80% of Success – Keep Your Toolkit With You .............................................. 51 Establish Goals ...................................................................................................................... 52 Give Yourself a Pep Talk........................................................................................................ 52 Opening Lines ........................................................................................................................ 53 Small Talk............................................................................................................................... 53 Day 12 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 54

Day 13 – More on Networking Events ................................................................................... 55 The Host with the Most........................................................................................................... 55 Get In Line.............................................................................................................................. 55 Networking a Table ................................................................................................................ 55 Preferences for Staying In Touch ........................................................................................... 56 Ending Conversations ............................................................................................................ 56 Follow-up ............................................................................................................................... 56 Day 13 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 57

Day 14 – Communication Styles............................................................................................. 58


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Your Style ............................................................................................................................... 59 Making Opposites Attract....................................................................................................... 59 Be a Chameleon ..................................................................................................................... 59 Becoming a Stylist .................................................................................................................. 60 Are you Auditory, Visual, or Kinesthetic?.............................................................................. 60 Day 14 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 61

Day 15 – Five Ways to Be Remembered................................................................................ 62 1. Be distinctive. .................................................................................................................... 62 2. Be there. ............................................................................................................................ 62 3. Ask thought-provoking questions. ..................................................................................... 62 4. Reinforce your keywords. .................................................................................................. 62 5. Contribute to, not dominate the group conversation......................................................... 63 Day 15 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 64

Day 16 – Progress Review....................................................................................................... 65

Day 17 – Networking Etiquette .............................................................................................. 66 Appearance Etiquette ............................................................................................................. 66 General Business Etiquette .................................................................................................... 66 Introduction Etiquette............................................................................................................. 67 E-mail Etiquette...................................................................................................................... 68 Phone Etiquette ...................................................................................................................... 69 Day 17 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 70

Day 18 – Follow-up Must-Dos ................................................................................................ 71 24 Hour Rule .......................................................................................................................... 71 Material Management ............................................................................................................ 71 “Let’s do lunch”..................................................................................................................... 71 Feedback Loop ....................................................................................................................... 71 Reasons to Thank ................................................................................................................... 72 Other Notables ....................................................................................................................... 73 Day 18 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 74

Day 19 – Contact Control ....................................................................................................... 75 Key Contact Info Inventory .................................................................................................... 75 Putting Your Contact Info to Work......................................................................................... 76 Day 19 Review and Assessment.............................................................................................. 77

Day 20 – Counting Your Accomplishments and a Simple Networking Methodology ....... 78 Accomplishments.................................................................................................................... 78


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A Methodology That Pulls It All Together.............................................................................. 80

Day 21 – The Networking Journey......................................................................................... 81 My Daily Goals ...................................................................................................................... 81 My Weekly Goals.................................................................................................................... 82 My Next Six Month Goals....................................................................................................... 83 Final Review........................................................................................................................... 84

References ................................................................................................................................ 85


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A “Fabulous” Approach to Developing Yourself In just 21 days you can have an expanded network of professional and personal relationships in your life. This book is designed to introduce you to concepts that are then translated into action to achieve your networking goals. This is accomplished through your personal drive and discipline with the guidance of this self-directed book.

This course has 21 short sections to complete with the intent of completing 5 sections per week. On the 21st day there is a final recap, thus the title, “21 Days to Fabulous Networking”. Life can be hectic and busy, and this is why this book has been designed with 21 short sections or days. Each section is sized so you can complete it in 15-25 minutes, a bite size of time that fits nicely into a coffee or tea break, lunch, or pre-bedtime reading.

Have fun with this but also take it serious. There is a popular phrase that applies here, “the more you put into it, the more you get out of it”. The business term is “return on investment” (ROI). To receive a return there must be an investment. The investment here is to complete the exercises with sincerity and you will see a positive return on your efforts.

It is also encouraged to team up with a friend or a group of friends to complete this book. It can be more meaningful and fun to engage in open discussions about the concepts and exercises and learn from and challenge each other. Doing this with others also tends to increase self-motivation through the support and encouragement from others. And hey, doing this in a group is networking!

Lastly, the following are three self-development tips to consider as you complete this course:

• Highlight to emphasize key information that you find personally applicable.

• Use the white space in the margins to take notes and/or re-state key concepts and techniques. There is scientific evidence that by writing down information, the greater the retention. Remember grade school and the writing of new words 10 times? The same learning principle applies to adults.

• Lastly, let no exercise go uncompleted. Every exercise is designed to invoke thought which increases awareness and/or suggest actions to achieve your fabulous networking goals.


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Course Objectives 21 Days to Fabulous Networking! The expected outcomes for each day are listed below. Enjoy!

Day Objectives

1 Define “Fabulous Networking” and know what it means for me. Clarify my performance and networking goals.

2 Define what makes me special. What do I have to offer?

3 Develop my 30 second speech.

4 Be aware of and improve my communication.

5 Increase my trust factor.

6 Progress review.

7 Identify my current network and nurture my network.

8 Reconnect with acquaintances.

9 Identify new places to network and new people to network with.

10 Apply additional communication techniques while networking.

11 Progress review.

12 Learn how to work networking events.

13 Learn more techniques to meet more people at networking events.

14 Learn the communication styles and learn how to adapt to different styles.

15 Learn and apply five ways to stand out and be remembered.

16 Progress review.

17 Learn the proper etiquette for networking.

18 Learn how to follow-up after making new contacts.

19 Learn how to organize and maintain your contact database.

20 Review your accomplishments during this course.

21 Develop your networking goals for going forward.


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Day 1 – Defining Moments Defining “Fabulous Networking”

Fab-u-lous:

1. incredible

2. exceptionally good; marvelous; superb

3. extremely pleasing or successful

Net-work-ing:

1. supportive system of sharing information and services among individuals and groups having a common interest

2. to interact or engage in informal communication with others for mutual assistance or support

We just don’t want to network, but we want to do it in an incredible and pleasing way, resulting in greater life success and satisfaction. Networking is a process of giving and sharing information, leads, contacts, etc. By focusing on giving and helping others, then others will reciprocate out of self motivation. Networking is about developing relationships. By helping others you will be helped.

Also, as you can see, networking is positive in nature. It’s all good. Although some people cringe at the thought of networking, this book will help break down those fears. You know what they say; “knowledge is power”, and the following concepts and exercises will enable you and give you that knowledge and power to network comfortably and successfully, ultimately resulting in increased business performance and personal life enrichment. Specifically, this book will give you the skills and support to be able to answers the questions on the next page with ease and comfort.


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• How do I start a conversation with someone I do not know without appearing self-serving?

• What are some examples of opening lines and small talk topics before breaking into the business topics?

• How can I ask probing questions without being perceived as pushy or meddlesome?

• How can I start up a conversation with someone I find intimidating?

• What is the best way to present myself, my services and/or product without coming on too strong?

• How can I best exit a conversation with a person or group to continue my networking with others?

These are all valid questions that some people struggle with. The really great networkers have a secret to their success – practice, practice, practice. There are few people with a born talent to networking. It does take some practice and this book will give you the tools to be successful. The key point is to practice and follow-through on all exercises presented here.

With that, this is a great place to do your first exercise.


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What’s In It For Me? (WIIFM)

Read through all of the potential benefits of fabulous networking below and place a check ( √ ) next to each applicable to you.

Increase business knowledge and therefore increase business performance.

Participate in benchmarking opportunities to help you identify where you can improve.

Learn who your competition is to maintain a competitive edge.

Obtain sales leads and expand your market.

Build mutually beneficial business relationships.

Find a new job.

A chance to help others in their endeavors (giving back).

Raise your business profile and get your face and business known.

Learn new skills.

Compare and discuss issues and ideas of common concern (e.g., marketing strategies, staff performance, business process improvements, legal developments, and customer service).

Learn best practices.

Increase self-confidence.

Please take a moment to think of 1-3 more benefits for you:


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Who Am I and Where Am I Going?

The previous exercise was provided to help you identify your own reasons for networking. The next sections will present techniques and exercises to achieve these goals but first it is crucial to bring self-clarity. Please take a moment to answer the two questions in this section. Doing so gives you greater confidence as you network and it gives you more control of your future. It simply helps clarify your purpose. Please be as specific as possible as this will not only help you achieve clarity of purpose but may also identify some performance gaps needing evaluation and additional work.

Let’s begin:

1. Who am I? Am I an entrepreneur, part of a larger organization, a manager and/or salesperson? What are my key responsibilities and accountabilities to me and/or my organization?


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Answering the next question takes a little effort but it is important to do as your performance goals directly influence your networking goals. For example, if you have a goal to improve your business processes then your networking goal would be to network with others who have improved their processes. If your goal is to increase sales then you will network where your customers meet. It is a straight-forward concept but worth noting here. With this said, it is therefore wise to include the networking component in your performance goal.

A simple example is included below to help you see this goal-setting in action. Note that the measure and action includes a time element. Including a time element or due date helps hold you accountable and provides motivation.

2. What are my goals, how will I measure the success, and how can I measure the result of each goal?

Example:

Goal: To obtain a new position within the Human Resources (HR) function at a higher level.

Measure(s): I will be in a new position within the next 9-12 months.

Action(s) to achieve goal; includes networking plan:

Earn my Strategic Professional in HR (SPHR) certification in May.

Volunteer to work on at least two strategic HR projects in my current role in the next 6 months.

Network with other HR professionals by joining the local and national SHRM associations and attend the monthly meetings. Become involved by joining a committee.


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Now it’s your turn. Please define up to 2-3 goals. Keep the goals few. Too many often result in accomplishing a little towards each goal. In other words, fewer quality written goals result in greater focus and results.

Goal #1

Measure(s):

Action(s); includes networking plan:


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Goal #2

Measure(s):



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Goal #3

Measure(s):


Point to Ponder: If you are in a leadership role, you will find this exercise to be effective as you conduct coaching sessions with those you work with.

You completed day 1! You will enjoy day 2 as you will explore what makes you special.


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Day 1 Review and Assessment

Review: In this section:

You reviewed and learned the definition of “Fabulous Networking.” You learned it is more about giving. It is a reciprocal process with no end.

You discovered the benefits to networking you may not have thought about.

You brought more clarity to what you’re about and how networking goals can support your performance goals.

Please check mark each item below you feel you accomplished with satisfaction. Obviously, if you are not satisfied please consider revisiting that section.

As for “Fabulous Networking:” I see WIIFM (What’s in it for me)?

In completing the goal exercise, I have identified specific networking goals that support my performance goals?

The Daily Affirmation

Today, I am excited to learn how many ways networking will enrich me both professionally and personally.


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Day 2 – What Makes Me Special? The next question completes you. In day 1 you identified who you are and what your goals are. In this section you will define what makes you special or what value you provide. As you will soon learn, part of networking is to sell yourself and “toot your own horn.” You may not be comfortable doing this because you haven’t clarified who you are and what you have to offer. Being able to answer this question easily and concisely gives you greater confidence and is critical to “fabulous networking.”

When answering the next question truly consider what you have to offer. Your list should not only include the specific service or product but also include your other performance attributes as well. As you answer this question, think back to the feedback you have received on a consistent basis. To help you, please consider the following example phrases:

“I am known to always follow-through on promises, no matter how trivial.”

“I am continually praised at the level of quality of my work.”

“I am thorough and detailed in my work – I always dot the I’s and cross the T’s.”

“I’m known for being an outstanding problem solver.”

A consideration: Ask a close colleague and/or customer for which you have a fabulous relationship with to answer the below question for you. This is powerful because many of us cannot see the forest from the trees.

More ticklers: Dependable, approachable, creative problem solver, great presenter, high quality, etc.


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Now that you have some framework for this question, please continue.

3. What do I have to offer others?

Assignment: Once you have completed this question, discuss it with a colleague or friend for validation and/or feedback. Please remember, feedback is a gift and you should thank those who provide it, even if the feedback is tough to receive.


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You articulated what makes you special – what value you provide to others.

You will discuss “What I have to offer” with a colleague/friend to further refine what you are about.

Please check mark the item below that you feel you accomplished with satisfaction. Obviously, if you are not satisfied please consider revisiting this section.

I have defined what makes me special and can confidently discuss it with a friend or colleague for validation and feedback.


Today, I see that I am special and have much to offer.


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Day 3 – Myself in 30 Seconds The prior sections have set the framework for you to complete this section. This section will help you develop your personal infomercial or 30 second speech.

My 30 Second Speech

Are you able to enter an elevator with a potential client and during the 30 second ride successfully impress the person such that it will lead to a follow-up meeting? In reading this your pulse has increased and you’re starting to panic. Don’t fret, in this section you will comfortably develop your 30 second speech and deliver it with confidence and professionalism.

Being able to effectively give a 30-second speech can benefit you in a number of situations:

In a short elevator ride or hall-walk with a potential client or partner.

During those around-the-room introductions at meetings.

Introducing your self to a work colleague from another part of the organization at the coffee station.

Your 30-second speech can further be developed in the writing of a bio that can be used when you are introduced by another person during a speaking engagement or presentation.

General networking events.

Social gatherings.

Can you think of any other situations you may need a 30-second speech? If so, include them here. Here is one place where you can use it – while standing in line. Can you think of some other places?


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Developing My 30 Second Speech

The theme here is “fabulous.” This means we want to exceed the norm. With this said, let’s develop a 30 second speech that results in a “YES” when asking the following questions:

Will I be remembered?

Will I appear unique compared to everyone else?

There are some simple techniques to achieve a “YES” to the above questions. It starts with a unique tag line. The next time you are asked, “What do you do?” respond with your new tag line. Previously you may have responded with your job title, position, or profession just like everyone else such as “I’m a marketing manager,” “I’m the vice president of advertising,” or “I’m a sales rep.” These statements are the norm and actually tell the other person very little about you. They are just more blah blah blah.

Instead, incorporate a value statement in your introduction. Consider these instead:

“I help place people in their dream home.” (real estate agent)

“I coach executives to be great leaders.” (executive coach)

“I make using computers friendly.” (PC support or training)

“I help people retire early.” (financial advisor)

“I help save lives.” (healthcare professional)

“I remove stage fright.” (public speaking/presentation coach)

“I contribute to a person’s quality of life.” (pharmaceutical sales rep)

The goal of a fabulous tag-line is to make the other person think or say, “Tell me more.” The rest of your speech should factor in:

What benefits and solutions do you provide?

What makes you and your services unique?

Here are a few examples that work well.

“Good morning. My name is Barbara Jones of Jones Realty and I help people find their dream home. I especially love working with first time home-buyers because I take away all the anxiety and confusion of finding a home within their budget and make the paperwork a breeze so they can move in as soon as they want.”


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“Hi, my name is Wendy Williams of Williams Temporary Staffing and I help organizations stay productive and profitable by being their all-inclusive people provider. When an organization calls me with a staffing need, we try to fill their need in the same week, sometimes the next day!”

Putting it all together: Your 30 second speech should include:

A friendly greeting (“Hi”, “Hello”, “Good Morning”).

Who you are?

Who you work for?

What value do you provide?

Now it’s your turn. In the space below, craft your 30 second speech.

Assignment: Start using your 30 second speech. Try it on colleagues, friends and family and refine it so it feels natural for you.


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You learned a simple technique when introducing yourself by developing a 30 second speech with uniqueness that will make you stand out.

You will practice your 30 second speech on friends, colleagues, and new people you meet. You will ask for feedback and refine your speech as needed.

Please check mark the item below that you feel you accomplished with satisfaction. Obviously, if you are not satisfied please consider revisiting that section.

I have developed a 30 second infomercial about me that will make me stand out from the others.


I can’t wait to use my professional and unique introduction of myself.


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Day 4 - Delivering My 30 Second Speech Having a fabulous opening introduction crafted is only half of the formula to a fabulous impression. The other half is HOW it is delivered.

The Three Ways to Communicate

Verbal messages are delivered and received in three ways:

1. Through what is said – the words. Did you know that the words said only account for about 7% of the communication impact?

2. Through how it sounds – tone and volume. The sound of words account for about 38% of the communication impact.

3. Through how it looks – body language. How it looks accounts for the greatest amount of communication impact at about 55%.

This is worth noting because although your intentions are fabulous you can inadvertently send a wrong impression. Applying these simple communication techniques will ensure you leave a fabulous impression.

Making it sound fabulous:

Be genuinely enthusiastic. Be passionate about what you do. When you love what you do it will shine through in your words.

Don’t rush the words or purposely speak slowly. Be natural.

Monitor your volume. Match it to the environment. In large rooms, ensure the farthest person in the corner can hear you.


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Body Language – How Your Message Looks

Smile! Everyone responds to a smile. A smile will also raise your own spirits and contribute to your level of enthusiasm. The smile should be genuine. Fake smiles are obvious and can work against you. They send a message that you’re a fake. So smile, and smile big so the person in the corner can see it.

Make eye contact. Making eye contact says you are focused, you care. Not making eye contact says you are not interested or bored. If networking with a group of people, give everyone your attention and not just the boss if this is the case. Give everyone respect through warm eye contact and you will receive the same in return. If you have trouble looking people in the eye, then practice in the mirror and/or focus near the eyes until you feel comfortable.

Be aware of your body language. Sit up straight. When standing, stand up straight without slouching or leaning on something. Positive body language makes you approachable and respected. It is that simple. Additionally, be aware of any habits you may have such as swaying when presenting, playing with your hair, scratching your head when faced with a tough situation, etc.

Facial expressions are a critical component to body language. Some people wear their feelings on their face and may frown at ideas they may disagree with which can be the cause of a dead deal with a client. There are more tactful approaches to discussing new ideas than to trample a viewpoint with an unpleasant expression. A powerful technique to show respect and interest is the simple head nod. Don’t be a nod-head and sit there nodding continuously as this will turn the other person off. Nod at the right moments when the speaker makes a point you wish to acknowledge.

Hand-shakes. A soft and floppy handshake can imply you lack confidence and/or interest and a vise-like grip can imply overly forceful and aggressive.

Having fabulous body language has another advantage. A person speaking to a group of people will always turn their attention to the person who appears most interested. Fabulous eye contact, positive posturing, and warm facial acknowledges will always attract others to you.

Assignment: Start being critical of your tone and body language. Ask a close colleague to give you honest feedback about how you communicate, specifically asking about your words, how it sounds and what it looks like. Practice your 30 second speech with them.


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Take a few moments to answer the following questions.

What can I do to improve how I sound when speaking, considering my volume, tone and pitch?

What will I do differently to further improve my body language?

Where can I start using my 30 second speech?


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You learned and are more aware of the three components to communicating – what is said, how it sounds and how it looks.

You will seek feedback opportunities on your communication style.


I am now aware of the three components (what is said, how it sounds and how it looks) to communicating and have identified some areas that I will improve.


I will make a positive impression with everyone I meet.


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Day 5 – The Threads of a Network In the prior four days you defined your goals and what makes you special, developed a fabulous 30 second speech, and are more aware of your communication techniques. Remember, networking is more about giving than receiving. By giving, most people will want to reciprocate and help you in return. This must be done with sincerity. This sincerity is built on trust and respect, the threads that build and hold networks together. The stronger these threads, the stronger the network.

In this section we will look at examples of trust breakers and trust builders. We will specifically focus on trust. After all, respect is the partner to trust. Without trust we have no respect.

Trust Breakers

As you read the following examples of behaviors that often result in a loss of trust and respect, be brutally honest and assess your own behaviors against each item. Although most of our intentions are positive, we all have blind spots. Recognizing these blind spots is 80% of the solution. Awareness = self correction.

Publicly criticize, reprimand or humiliate.

Stand-by and let others become humiliated without speaking up.

Badmouth others or join in when others are badmouthing.

Share others’ secrets with others.

Become defensive, deny or get angry upon receiving feedback.

Make discriminatory comments of any kind against any person.

Talk more than listen - talk over people.

Lose your cool/temper. Remember, “anger” is only one letter away from “danger.”

Point blame and accept credit.

Say “I” a lot instead of “we.”

Miss or delay deliverables.

Don’t follow-up when you say you will, no matter how trivial it may be.

Constantly late or cancel meetings.

Make decisions that affect others without involving them.

Be part of gossip circles.

Ignore input from others.


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Hide or withhold information from others.

Don’t return calls or emails in a timely fashion or don’t return them at all.

Surprise people with delayed negative feedback.

Not being available or assessable.

Not writing things down during action meetings.

Badmouth the goals and direction.

Not share information and news.

Unable to give direction by explaining the “why.”

Take a moment to consider other behaviors that can result in a loss of trust. These could be experiences that you had or seen them done to others. Remembering these and the impact of them will help from doing these things. Again, awareness is 80% of the solution and sometimes 100%.

Other Trust Breakers:

Trust Builders

Now let’s look at behaviors that build and maintain trust and respect. Again, assess yourself against each item. But please note that trust requires consistently, not one time events. With that said, do you do each consistently?

Publicly acknowledge, recognize, and reward others for their accomplishments.

Challenge people when they badmouth others.

Always hold a person’s secret in confidence.

Accept, understand, and thank people for their input and feedback.


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Give people the benefit of the doubt.

Listen with sincerity, concern & positive body language.

Thank people for giving you news, good or bad.

Be approachable and helpful, or set a time if you cannot at the moment.

Admit mistakes and give credit to others.

Use of the word “we” and “our team” a lot.

Do what it takes to meet your promises, even small ones.

Pleasantly surprise people by following-up or checking in.

Hold to your meetings, even arriving first.

Ask the team for input on decisions that also affect them.

Squash gossip circles.

Teach, mentor, and grow others. Show what you know.

Return calls and emails within one business day.

Give positive and constructive feedback as it happens.

Keep an open door, walk-around, and have regular touch-base meetings.

Take notes and follow-through on actions.

Once a team decision is made, stand by it.

Let the team hear it from you first. Share information timely and freely.

Spend extra time explaining the “why” of things versus just the “what.”

Again, take a moment to consider other behaviors that can result in greater trust.

Other Trust Builders:


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Networking = Sincere Engagement = Greater Trust

The following diagram effectively demonstrates how to build and maintain trust and respect. Obviously, by doing nothing, you make no attempt to build trust. No action often results in suspicion and perceptions of weakness. Great listening skills will earn greater trust. Responding, as appropriate, to help others will further increase the trust and respect you earn.

Oh, let’s stop here a moment. Note the word “earn.” Trust and respect can only be earned, not demanded or commanded.

Back to the diagram – If you are proactive and initiate contact and support, this moves you further up the trust mountain. An example of initiating is to simply introduce your self to new people and share your 30 second speech. And lastly, engagement means to actively go out of your way to understand the needs of others so that you can help them. Again, by helping others you help yourself.

Increasing trust requires conversation, conversation done using great communication techniques you learned in the prior sections. You will learn additional communication techniques in the upcoming days as well.


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You reviewed numerous examples of trust breakers and builders and assessed your own behaviors against them.


I am more aware of how some behaviors can potentially break trust and respect and how others can build and maintain.


I know what it takes to build a trusting network.


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Day 6 – Progress Review This purpose of this section is to review and assess your first 5 days of learning, growing, and doing. Please indicate your progress and/or plans for each networking component below.

Networking Component Progress and/or Plan

I have been highlighting and noting key information to help to reinforce my memory retention. (refer to intro)

I am clear on my performance goals and have identified specific networking goals to support them. (refer to Day 1)

I articulated what makes me special and what value I can bring others. (refer to Day 2)

I have developed my 30 second speech. (refer to Day 3)

I have delivered my 30 second speech to others and received their feedback. (refer to Day 4)

I have evaluated my communication techniques and have made some improvements in my tone and/or body language. (refer to Day 4)

I am keenly aware of behaviors that can break and build trust and respect. (refer to Day 5)

Congratulations!! By putting some quality time and effort in this week’s sections, you have a strong sense of self which provides greater confidence. Confidence also breeds greater trust and respect for your self. Next week we will build on this confidence and explore more networking techniques and opportunities.


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Day 7 – Hey, I Already Have a Network Who Is In My Network?

It is best to know where you are before you know where you’re going. Answering “Who is in my network?” is a great way to begin this journey toward expanding your network. You may be surprised to learn you already have quite a network. The real question is, are you effectively nurturing and leveraging this network?

The next page includes an exercise to list your current network. It’s important to see this list on a single page thus the empty space below.


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Please write down 20 names of people in your network. As you do, indicate through which category they became a part of your network. The categories are:

Job/workplace Neighborhood Social Activities School/alumni associations

Professional associations Clubs Religious affiliations Other – be specific

Name Category

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

In reviewing your list, recall how you came to meet these people. How were you introduced? Did you introduce them to others? The point here is that networking has and is part of your life.

Review the list again and notice if there are patterns based on categories. You may find that you’re doing very well networking in some categories and can potentially improve in other categories as applicable. .


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Nurturing My Network

In time, relationships can become stagnate if not nurtured. We may begin to take people for granted or fail to see the potential they have to further enhance our network. The following is a list of ideas that can be used to nurture relationships.

Invite to a coffee break

Invite to lunch

Send a note of thanks (handwritten notes are the most cherished)

Send a thank you gift if applicable (I.e., for something that was quite beneficial to you such as a great lead, help with a project, etc.)

Call, visit or e-mail just to say “hi”

Do something nice for them

Give recognition for their accomplishments, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

Can you think of other ideas?

Assignment: In reviewing the above list, refer back to the list of 20 names and next to each name indicate your action plan to nurture that relationship using the above list of suggestions. Your goal is to do something for at least three people each day. To aide you in this process include the person’s names in your appointment calendar or daily to-do list. The more you do this the more it becomes a fabulous habit.

“Thinking a nice thought about someone and not sharing it is like wrapping a wonderful gift for someone and not giving it.” - Anonymous


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Leveraging My Network

People in your network can help you get things done more effectively, efficiently, and therefore more profitably. Without a network you can find yourself lacking critical support or cooperation from others when you need it most.

The following suggestions can help you leverage your network for maximum benefit:

Reminder: Use your highlighter pen to highlight the items applicable to you.

When you need assistance, simply ask for it. Networks are founded on the premise that relationships are reciprocal. Most people will help you meet your needs as long as you are there for them in their time of need.

Never ask without explaining why. People want to know what value they are providing therefore explain how their assistance will help you address and solve your problem.

Develop an information exchange among network members as applicable. Arrange for periodic get-togethers to discuss ideas and seek input.

Apply the suggestions presented in the previous section for nurturing your network. Simply stated, express your gratitude to anyone who enriches your life with assistance and support.


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Day 7 Review and Assessment Review: In this section:

You listed your current network and identified through what category (i.e., work, associations, social, etc.) you met each person. Your analysis may have revealed a pattern of where you are effectively networking and where you may wish to do more.

You explored ways to nurture those in your current network through kind deeds from a simple “hi, how are you doing?” to an invite to lunch. You added up to three people per day to your calendar/to-do list to make contact with.

You reviewed some simple approaches to leverage your network when needed by simply asking since the nature of networking is assumed to reciprocal.


I have my current network identified.

I have an action plan for each person on my list to express my gratitude and/or spend a little quality time with them.


I am blessed to have wonderful people in my life.


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Day 8 – Re-networking

Reconnecting With Acquaintances

As we move through time, we meet people. Many of these people are still active acquaintances in our life and included in our current network. However, for various reasons such as relocation, job change or other life events, some people have fallen off our active radar screen.

This is a simple exercise which can also be quite rewarding. In the spaces below, list at least 5 people you would like to reconnect with and maintain a nurturing relationship with. Some of these acquaintances may be:

Former work colleagues

Client or prospect you haven’t spoke with in awhile

Friends and neighbors you’ve lost contact with

Distant relatives

Acquaintances from prior associations, clubs or affiliations

Names Planned steps to contact

Assignment: Include each person’s name on your appointment calendar or to-do list over the next few weeks and make contact. Your goal is to re-establish an active relationship with each person listed.


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Day 8 Review and Assessment Review: In this section:

You identified up to five people you have lost contact with and gave yourself an action plan to make contact with each over the next few weeks by putting your actions directly into your calendar/to-do list.


I have an action plan to reconnect with at least five people I have lost contact with.


I will bring a smile to at least five people by reconnecting with them.


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Day 9 – New Places, New People, Bigger Network Consider These Places

Get yourself out there. You have a fabulous 30 second introduction of yourself and are keenly aware of the body language needed to convey confidence and approachability. In this section we explore many networking possibilities for you to consider. You must be warned though, do not spread yourself too thin. Be selective and choose the networking activities that best align with your goals and personal interests.

Below are a number of networking events. In reading these, place a check mark next to those that have triggered an interest worth exploring.

Social and Service groups – book club, choir, parent-teacher meetings, lead a boy/girl scout troop, health club, home associations, art or dance class, museum groups, chamber of commerce, charities, political groups, etc.

Industry specific associations – there are associations for just about any profession. To find an association applicable to your goal, explore the internet, review your local newspaper as many advertise their events in the classifieds, and/or visit your library. By far the most effective means to learn about these associations is to network with your current colleagues and ask.

Networking organizations – these are specifically designed for networking, to discuss ideas, share leads and have some fun in the process. By typing “women network organizations” in Google and launching a search, you will be presented with millions of listings! By refining your search you can find the organization right for you. These are also listed in your local paper but the best way to discover these is to simply begin asking your colleagues. A few examples are: www.leadsclub.com, www.letip.com and www.ryze.com.

Company events and teams – consider expanding your company network by attending the events, picnics, meetings, volunteer for cross-team projects, etc.

List other(s) not included above: _________________________


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Consider These People

Casting a large net by joining associations, networking organizations, clubs, and/or attending social activities are fabulous ways to meet new people but you should also do targeted networking. There are key people in your industry or profession you’d like to meet. Do your research and identify these people. Through some diligence you can include these people in your network. Here are a few techniques that work well:

Do your research and learn at which organizations, groups or place you can meet them.

At an event, ask a mutual colleague to introduce you or simply introduce yourself.

Contact the individual and simply ask if you can meet with them for a short meeting. Explain who you are and that you are striving to get to know some of the most respected and highly regarded people in the industry (or profession) and that you would be indebted. You may be amazed when they agree.

Consider This Network Structure

You have listed the names of many people in your network in Day 3. The purpose of this course is to further expand your network. The following structure works well in further defining your network and how it has evolved over time through your networking activities.

The following is a networking level profile. Please use a blank sheet of paper and complete your network profile as it currently exists. Keep this profile and review and update it every few months. This is a great tool to demonstrate your success over time.

Level 1

People in this column are those closest to you currently. These are people that will take a call or visit from you immediately and do what they can to provide you with information and assistance. These people will share their contacts with you.

Level 2

People in this column know who you are when you contact them. With the right nurturing, these people can become Level 1 within the next 2-4 weeks.

Level 3

People in this column may not know you but you know them. These are people you admire and wish to meet because you feel they can help you achieve your performance goals.


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Now that you have reviewed networking possibilities, let’s specifically identify some places to network and list two people that we plan to meet.

1. List at least one industry specific association you would like to research for joining.

2. List at least one networking organization you would like to join.

3. List at least one organization or activity related to your personal interests that you might join.

4. List at least two unusual places where you can talk to new people.

5. List at least two Level 3 people that you would like to meet and how you will make this happen.


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Networking is an Activity, Therefore be Active

You are now considering some associations, organizations, and/or activities to join to meet new people that can possibly help you meet your performance goals or simply make new friends. However, to really do some fabulous networking, you must get involved, show your stuff, become known. The following are examples of getting involved:

At meetings, share your views and offer suggestions. We have all sat in a meeting thinking of a great idea or suggestion but because we were shy in sharing it someone else offered “your” idea. If you snooze, you lose, so speak up and contribute.

At meetings or conferences where there are group activities, volunteer to lead the group or be the group speaker.

If you are a member of an association or club, volunteer to be part of a committee and use that opportunity to represent the group in the larger settings if you can.

Write an article or give a speech. This can involve writing small articles in your organization’s newsletter. You will find people coming up to you to discuss it, to meet you, and to do general networking.

Teach a class. Not only will you meet new people but there is another tremendous benefit to teaching. By teaching, you learn twice. Teaching a topic requires preparation and study and when you deliver the topic to others the information is reinforced further so therefore by teaching you learn twice.


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You identified some new places to network.

You identified at least two new people that you’d like to meet and put a plan in place to make those connections.

Reviewed suggestions for becoming more active and therefore making you stand out and be known.

Please check mark each item below that you feel you accomplished with satisfaction. Obviously, if you are not satisfied please consider revisiting that section.

I have identified at least one organization, association, club, or activity to join.

I have an action plan to contact at least two Level 3 people I admire to begin building a relationship.


I feel confident. I feel like meeting new people.


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Day 10 – Fabulous Communication You are now equipped with clarity of networking goals, a fabulous 30 second speech, and a plan to expand your network. This is a great place to learn some additional critical communication skills for the fabulous networker. Putting Others First

Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. When you give someone this gift, they will most likely reciprocate. There’s that word again, “reciprocate.” By initiating a conversation and showing a genuine interest in the other person, in most cases they will return the gift and ask about you. This is by far the greatest technique in networking when meeting new people. It however must be emphasized to be genuine, make eye contact and do not appear to be in a hurry or fidget. Giving respect earns respect.

Use Their Name

The best way to remember a person’s name is to use it. More importantly, using a person’s name in a conversation shows you have invested in the effort to remembering their name, making the person feel valued. It is a fabulous technique to make your self stand out and be remembered. By using the person’s name it helps your brain to remember it. Use it a couple times in your conversation.

Reintroduce, It’s Okay

You see someone you previously met walking your way and you start to panic, “Oh no, I forgot her name!” Don’t worry. Simply reintroduce yourself with tact with a phrase similar to “Hi, I’m Barbara Williams and we met before. But at the moment your name escapes me, I’m sorry.” To remember their name use it as noted above.

Watch Your Space

In some countries, people may stand about 12 inches from you when conversing but many Americans find this too close. Try to stand 18 to 24 inches from a person so that you do not risk making the other person feel uncomfortable. However, since most countries are a melting pot, you need to be aware of the diversity that exists.

Compliments – They’re Free

When talking with someone, they may share something they are proud of. Take that opportunity to compliment them.

A fabulous method for complimenting others: Start your day with five pennies in your right pocket or in one of two small dishes on your desk. Plan to compliment five people each day. Each time you give someone a genuine and sincere compliment


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move a penny to the other pocket or dish. By the end of the day all pennies should be moved and as a result, you made five people feel good. Hey, let’s just make this a book assignment – the best assignment yet!

Body Language – Worth a Review

In a previous section we reviewed the aspects of positive body language. This is so important it is worth a quick review. Have you improved? ______

How? _____________________________________________________________

Smile. Be sincere. Be genuine.

Sit and stand tall. Be confident, be seen.

Make eye contact. Keep it warm and show interest.

Nod with agreement. Use effective facial acknowledgements.

Shake hands firmly. Shake from the elbow, only a few times. Only use one hand unless they are a dear friend.

Listening, Really Listening

In most cases, being aware is 80% of the solution. Read through the following list and reflect on each item, asking yourself how effective are you? The real test is to share this list with a friend or colleague and ask for their assessment of you.

Listening for facts and feelings

Asking open-ended questions

Not interrupting

Remembering information

Not completing others’ sentences

Not giving advice

Making eye contact

Observing body language

Comfortable with silence

Other-person focused

Taking notes to remember

Not getting defensive

Not evaluating or judging

Not mentally rehearsing next statement


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Listening…

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as it may seem.

So please, just listen and hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a few minutes for your turn and I promise, I’ll listen to you.

~ Unknown

Learn From Great Networkers

Write down the names of at least two people that you admire to be great networkers and then write down what traits and behaviors they exhibit to be great networkers. Learning from others through demonstration is a very effective form of self development and growth.

Name Traits/Behaviors

Assignment: Contact one or both of the above people to talk about networking. State how you admire their talents and you would like to learn from them. In doing so, ask for feedback and advice specific to your networking skills if they can. Showing sincere admiration is one of the highest forms of compliments.


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You learned more communication techniques to help make you stand out and be remembered.

You evaluated your listening skills to become even more effective.

You identified at least two people you consider great networkers and listed the traits that make them great.


I have learned some communication techniques that I can start applying to my own communication style.

I have identified at least two people that I admire for their networking skills. I plan to contact at least one of them to express my admiration and seek networking advice.

I will start to compliment at least five people a day. To help me do this, I will keep five pennies in my pocket or in a dish on my desk. I will remove one penny for each compliment I give and by the end of the day I will not have any pennies.


I will become what I repeatedly do. The more I network, the more it will become natural.


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Day 11 – Progress Review

This purpose of this section is to review and assess this past week’s learning, growing, and doing. Please indicate your progress and/or plans for each networking component below.


I have identified people in my current network and developed a plan to contact each person to say “hello”, say “thanks” or discuss an opportunity. (refer to Day 7)

I plan to reconnect with up to five people I lost contact with. (refer to Day 8)

I have identified an association, organization, club, and/or activity to join that will help me achieve my goals. (refer to Day 9)

I have identified at least two Level 3 people that I plan to contact that would benefit me in achieving my goals. (refer to Day 9)

I have plans to meet with a great networker and seek their advice and feedback so that I can further improve my networking techniques. (refer to Day 10)

I have started to compliment at least five people each day. (refer to Day 5)

In summary, were you successful at strengthening your current network and did you meet new people that you now consider part of your network? ____________

Completing and following through on the exercises and assignments of this course would surely yield a yes to this question. With that said, CONGRATULATIONS!! We hope you are enjoying this course and look forward to the remaining days.


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Day 12 – Making Connections at Networking Events

Networking means getting out of your comfort zone. As stated earlier, some people cringe at the thought of networking. In this section you will learn some techniques you can use at networking events. These techniques will give you confidence and make you stand out and be remembered.

Attitude is Everything

Attitude is your mindset and beliefs. People attend these events to network. Event organizers want people to network. Wrap your mind around this and embrace the belief that you will network with great people that can help you achieve your goals and enrich your life. Having a positive mindset going into an event will also influence your energy level, making you stand out.

Preparation is 80% of Success – Keep Your Toolkit With You

Before attending an event, do your research. Read the brochure, company profiles, industry news, speaker biographies, and other information you can find. The internet is a powerful source of information. As stated earlier, “knowledge is power.” You can use this knowledge to initiate an introduction with someone you wish to meet. For example, you can introduce yourself to an event speaker or sponsor and compliment them on one of their accomplishments you read earlier in your preparation.

Preparation includes having a well equipped toolkit:

Adequate supply of business cards. Consider counting them before and after the event to gauge the number of connections you made.

A place to store the business cards you collect. Keep them separate from your own business cards so you don’t mix them up and inadvertently give someone another person’s card.

Notepad to jot down what you learned about a new contact. Do this tactfully so you don’t appear to be a reporter.

A nice pen. Don’t use the cheap pens provided by the hotel. Invest in a nicer pen as it is an extension of your image. Have a back-up pen as well.

Breathe mints. No explanation needed.

Hand sanitizer. You will shake a lot of hands and collect a lot of germs that you don’t want to pass along. Use it occasionally and discreetly.


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Mirror. You’ll want to have your big smile so check your teeth, check that no tags are sticking out and you have no crazy hair licks.

Establish Goals

Go into an event or meeting with a goal to meet people and/or meet specific people. Here are some examples of networking goals:

Meet two people where you mutually agree to stay in contact.

Exchange a minimum of five business cards.

Meet a minimum of eight new people.

They are simple goals but the point is to have a goal. Having a goal provides you with increased motivation and focus.

Give Yourself a Pep Talk

You know who you are and what you’re about. You have positive intentions, great skills, and performance goals you will achieve. Be proud of who you are and what you have to offer. Reminding yourself of these things is very powerful and will give you a mental booster shot as you begin your networking. Here are three examples of self pep talks:

1. “I’m excited to be here because I will meet some great people.”

2. “I’m a great listener.”

3. “I can’t wait to use my new fabulous 30 second speech.”

It’s your turn. Write down at least two statements of self pep talk you can use before your next meeting or event.


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Opening Lines

An opening line is like a knock on the door, they can help open the door to making a great connection. Here are three examples. Please write three more and as you do, say each out loud to test how it sounds. It should be natural and comfortable for you.

1. “Hello, I haven’t met you yet. My name is Barbara Williams.”

2. “This is my first meeting, can you tell me about this group?”

3. “Do you find these meetings helpful with your business?”

Write your three opening lines here. Consider a recent meeting or event you attended and try to remember how each person, that you found to be quite effective and comfortable, introduced them self to you. Learning from other great networkers is a great way to learn.

Small Talk

Small talk is a great technique to ease into business talk. Small talk can reveal many things about a person. It can reveal common interests, mutual friends and common goals. Small talk can be as simple as talking about the weather, the décor of the room, to complimenting a person on a great scarf or pin. You should also be savvy to the current affairs, latest trends in your industry, best-selling books, movies, and/or business news in general. Here are some places to stay abreast of the latest topics:

Wall Street Journal and USA Today

Local newspaper

Internet news highlights (e.g., MSN, YAHOO)

Note that it is best to avoid potentially controversial topics such as sex or politics until you have established a closer relationship.


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There are many more techniques to be learned and applied in the following days. This is a good place to review the techniques you learned today.


You learned that attitude is everything. At networking events, people have attended to meet you and others, so go ahead and introduce yourself. Everyone has the same goal, intentions and apprehensions. Take the first step and say “hi.”

You learned how to be better prepared for networking events and meetings. You will have your goals, toolkit, do your research, and mentally prepare with a pep talk.

You identified and practiced some opening lines and learned how you can be more conversant in small talk.

Please check mark the item below if you agree with the statement. Obviously, if you are not satisfied please consider revisiting that section.

I feel I am better equipped to initiate contact and make connections with new people by using the techniques presented today.


I have a great attitude about myself and life.


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Day 13 – More on Networking Events

The Host with the Most

Meet the host! A role of the host in many meetings and events is to help people make connections. They introduce people to each other. Share your 30 second speech with the host and engage in a conversation. The host may suggest others to meet and/or make the appropriate introductions for you.

Get In Line

Standing in a refreshment line, registration line, any line, can present you with many fabulous opportunities to meet people. To some, it is easier to meet people this way as you already have something in common with the other person you can talk about, such as the snack selection or attending the same event to name a few. It’s a great place to compliment someone on their outfit or just say “hello.” In line you are standing closer to a person so it is much easier to engage them. The line did half of the work for you; it brought people together for a common purpose – to eat, to register, etc.

This section presented numerous network event techniques. You will review the key points of this section on the next page. There are numerous techniques in the following sections

Two Tips: 1) For networking events with refreshments, consider eating in advance so your hands and mouth are not too occupied with eating. People are also reluctant approaching someone during their “meal.” An alternative is to snack light. 2) Most events have a formal presentation. Arrive 20-30 minutes early to meet people in advance of the event. Other people arriving early have the same goal, to meet you.

Networking a Table

Many networking events will feature a meal if held during meal time hours. It is crucial to practice good table etiquette to make the best impression. Here are some networking suggestions:

Suggest the group introduce themselves. You can start this process with your 30 second speech.

Ask, listen and learn. Start the conversation by asking questions: why people are there, what they hope to gain, how they found out about the event. Avoid monopolizing the conversation.

Keep your business cards handy but do not deal them out impersonally.


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Once everyone is finished eating, trade seats with the person across from you so you can get to know others at the table. Be sure to ask your dinner partners for their permission first. They will probably be glad with the suggestion since they are there to network as well.

Preferences for Staying In Touch

Once you have made a connection with someone, be sure to find out the best way to stay in touch. Some people prefer a phone call while others may prefer e-mail due to their travel schedules. Simply ask, “What’s the best way for us to keep in touch?” A simple technique is to underline either their phone number or e-mail address on their business card.

Ending Conversations

You have arrived at the event with a goal to meet as many people as practical. Others have the same goal so it is not a good idea to monopolize people’s time and this will also prevent you from mingling with others. However, as you are talking with someone and mentally counting the minutes until your next encounter, do not appear rushed or fidget to move on. Be aware of your body language. Here are some strategies for exiting a conversation with grace and style:

“I enjoyed meeting you and hearing about your company and look forward to seeing you again.”

“Please excuse me. I see a friend I’d like to visit with. It was a real pleasure talking with you.”

“I’m very glad we met. I wish you great success on your project.”

As with the prior exercises, it’s your turn. Please write at least two conversation enders below. In doing so, think back to the occasions where you did this comfortably and/or someone ended a conversation with you in a way you admired.

Follow-up

It is critical to follow-up with people you wish to stay in touch with. This is accomplished by contacting the person through their preference (call or e-mail) to let them know you enjoyed meeting them. It is best to do this within the next 2-3 days


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after the event. This book contains more techniques on following up and staying in touch in the following sections.

Assignment: Send at least two follow-up notes to people you have recently met. Tell them it was a pleasure to meet them and you enjoyed talking with them. Nurture this relationship to become a part of your Level 1 (see Day 4) by suggesting a meeting to get together (e.g., coffee/tea/coke break, lunch, or dinner).


Let’s review the techniques you learned today.

Review: In this section you:

Learned that the host can introduce you to other people, meeting people in line is quite effective and easy, and how to maximize your networking around a dinner table.

Learned how to best keep in touch with someone, how to exit conversations with professionalism and style, and to send a “nice to meet you” follow-up.


I feel confident and ready for my next networking event. I am certain to make some new connections in my life.

I will follow-up with two recent connections and ask to meet again soon over coffee, tea, lunch, or dinner.


My life is further enriched with every new person I meet.


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Day 14 – Communication Styles

Everybody has a different communication style. Understanding these styles can help you communicate more effectively and therefore make and maintain valuable relationships. Here is a simple example. One person, who presents ideas at the big picture level without disclosing the detailed data and logic, may frustrate someone who is analytical in nature and requires the data and details to understand the information. Effective networkers embrace that there are different styles and try to adapt their style to accommodate others as appropriate. This of course applies to any relationship in your life. The below matrix describes the four basic styles.

Analytical, Compliant, Cautious • logical, careful, systematic,

focused on details • asks more to find out facts • less emotional; fact oriented

Best approach to use:

Focus on the “why” Present details and data Be straightforward

Driver, Direct, Bottom-Line • practical, focused on results,

efficient, to the point • tells more because they want

results • less emotional; “poker-faced”


Focus on the “what” Be efficient Stick to business

Amiable, Agreeable, Patient • supportive, focused on

relationships, concerned with the impact of decisions on others

• asks more so everyone will get along

• more emotional; interpersonal issues get them going


• Focus on the “how” • Be supportive • Shown a personal interest in

them

Expressive, Persuasive • focused on generalities and

ideas, innovating, motivating, enthusiastic, goes with gut feelings

• tell more to be in the spotlight • more emotional; passionate


Focus on the “who” Be empathetic Discuss ideas with energy


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Your Style

To effectively communicate with other styles you obviously need to identify your style. From the information in the previous matrix, what style do you most represent?

Analytical, Compliant and Cautious

Driver, Direct, Bottom-line Oriented

Amiable, Agreeable, Patient

Expressive, Persuasive, Animated

Note that you may have the characteristics of the other styles but there is one that you most represent. If you are uncertain, ask a friend or family member.

Assignment: Share the matrix on the previous page with a friend, colleague and/or family member and ask for their opinion of which best represents you. In doing this, the people you share this with will also become interested and wish to identify their style as well. This can lead to some wonderful discussions about communication effectiveness.

Making Opposites Attract

The locations of the styles shown in the matrix are done this way for a reason. If you draw an “X” across the matrix, this will show you the styles most opposite each other. These opposing styles are:

Analytical and Expressive are most opposites, and

Driver and Amiable are most opposites.

Understanding this will help you appreciate the other person’s intentions and better equip you with the ability to adjust your style as necessary.

Be a Chameleon

If while networking you have found yourself with a person or people of a different communication style, try to incorporate a mix of styles into your conversation. This does not mean changing your personality but to simply become more empathetic and understanding of their communication preferences.


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Becoming a Stylist

It takes a little practice to accurately identify a person’s style but in time you can easily become adept. Let’s practice now. List the names of four people you consider in your Level 1 network (family, friends, or close business colleagues) and write the style they most represent next to their name. To validate your selection, share the matrix with them and discuss it.

Name Style

1.

2.

3.

4.

Are you Auditory, Visual, or Kinesthetic?

There are other dimensions to communicating. We all have a learning and communication preference. For example, some of us prefer reading instructions while others may prefer hearing them. Let’s look at each preference:

Auditory – the preference is sound, hearing, listening and discussing ideas. You may be able to spot this person as they may not be taking as many notes during a meeting but listening intently. When networking with auditory people, use phrases such as “Does this sound good to you?” They also prefer calls and v-mail over e-mails.

Visual – the preference is seeing, looking and pictures. Visual people take notes, love hand-outs and presentations. When networking with these people, draw pictures of your ideas and use phrases such as “Does this look good to you?” They prefer e-mails and things written or drawn.

Kinesthetic – the preference is experience, feeling, and touching. Kinesthetic people need demonstrations and like to act things out and do things. Phrases that work well are “How does this sound to you?” and “Are you comfortable about this idea?”

Now, what is your learning preference from the above three choices? Understanding your preference may explain why you communicate the way you do. If you are auditory, you prefer giving verbal information. Your goal is to be aware of the three preferences and try to adapt to those with different preferences so you can make a stronger network connection.


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Let’s review the information you learned today.


You learned the four types of communication styles (analytical, driver, expressive or amiable) and three types of preferences (auditory, visual or kinesthetic) so that you can alter your communication approach to better connect with people.


I have identified the styles of myself and up to four friends which has been validated by them.

I have identified my learning preference and feel I can alter my style to better connect with people with a different preference.


My communication skills are growing every day.


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Day 15 – Five Ways to Be Remembered

The goal of networking is to be remembered. Here are five ways to achieve your goal. Most of these concepts and techniques were presented earlier but it is worth bringing them together in five simple techniques.

1. Be distinctive.

A brightly-colored scarf, an unusual necklace or other jewelry, a good (but not overpowering) perfume, even just impeccable grooming can all help you stand out in a good way. It's not that you want to be remembered and identified for that, but anything that helps people separate you from the crowd will help them remember the rest of you. You don't have to be outlandish; just don't blend in completely with the crowd.

2. Be there.

Be fully present and fully aware of the people you interact with. We have already reviewed these techniques - listen well, respond promptly, maintain eye contact, and maintain a positive posture. If you are truly present in the moment, those things will happen naturally. Many people only seem to be "half there", so being fully engaged helps you stand out.

3. Ask thought-provoking questions.

Ask intelligent and open-ended questions such as "How did you get started?" or "What do you enjoy most about what you do?" As Dale Carnegie suggested, you must "take a genuine interest in other people" to make a genuine connection. Asking questions with sincere interest will result in making many long-lasting connections, as long as you nurture them.

4. Reinforce your keywords.

Although people may admire your 30 second speech for its uniqueness and conciseness, your real goal is to have people remember who you are and what you’re about. This is done by reinforcing the key things about you. In your conversation, try to repeat one or more of the key things about you too. We all remember best through repetition and reinforcement. Don’t overdo it, use good judgment and style. The key things about you should be:

Your name

Your company name

Your business/industry (in three words or less)

Your product

Your location


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What you want to do is find ways to unobtrusively increase the occurrence of these things in your conversation. For example, is there some kind of story behind your name? Does your business have an unusual name? What's the story behind it - what does it mean? Anything you say that reinforces one of the five items helps make you more memorable.

5. Contribute to, not dominate the group conversation.

Don't hog it, and don't say just anything in order to say something publicly, but saying one really smart thing at your table or in front of the whole group will make you much more memorable than half an hour of semi-conscious small talk. Create value for others and you create value for yourself. Be a great listener, ask sincere questions showing interest as stated above, and you will stand out.

Being asked a thought-provoking question is quite refreshing and ensures you will be remembered. You should have a number of them in your toolkit that you can use, comfortably and confidently. Please take a moment to come up with at least three such questions. Think back to a recent networking opportunity where you wish you could have asked such a question or overheard someone else ask a question you admired. Writing them down will help you to remember them.

1.

2.

3.


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You learned five techniques to help you stand out.


I am confident and ready to ask thought-provoking questions, showing a sincere interest in the other person as I do.


Help is all around me. All I need to do is ask.


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Day 16 – Progress Review

This purpose of this section is to review and assess this past week of learning, growing, and doing. Please indicate your progress and/or plans for each networking component below.


I have re-reviewed Day 6 and 11 to check my ongoing progress.

I have sent at least two follow-up notes to people I have recently met asking to meet again. (refer to Day 13)

I have identified the styles of myself and up to four friends which has been validated by them. (refer to Day 14)

I have identified at least three intelligent thought-provoking questions to ask a person while networking. (refer to Day 15)

Congratulations! One week of sections to go! Before you complete the final sections, please look back over the last two weeks and mentally review your list of new acquaintances. On day 21 we will do more of a formal assessment of your progress.

“Without deviation, progress is not possible.” - Frank Zappa


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Day 17 – Networking Etiquette

Again, the goal of networking is to be remembered, in a positive manner that is. You don’t want to be remembered as being disorganized, self-serving, aggressive, or insincere. This section includes numerous techniques to give you more networking talent that will further make you stand out and be remembered. And hey, no action plans or exercises in this section so just sit back with your highlighter pen and read on. At the end of this section you’ll simply be asked to identify the items you plan to implement from this section.

Appearance Etiquette

Although we are taught not to judge a book by its cover, we do. Your appearance establishes that first impression, so you should dress as you want to be seen – professional and always ready to meet clients. Below are three easy tips for dressing for success. If you wish to explore this topic further, type in “dress for success” in any internet search field and you’ll be presented with limitless articles.

Dress neatly and professionally. Did we really have to state the obvious here?

“When in doubt, leave it out.” An example is a political affiliation pin. When traveling, pack an outfit in your carry-on bag. You never know when

your bag can get lost the day you’re giving an important presentation. Before moving on, think about the meetings and events you have attended. Can you remember examples of appearance flubs and examples of those that really impressed you?

General Business Etiquette

Networking is about relationships, trust and respect. It is about sincerity and a desire to help others. Again, by helping others, you help yourself. Remember that “reciprocal” word. Here are a few general etiquette tips:

When approaching a group with the intention of meeting one person in particular, give everyone in the group your attention. Give everyone equal respect and attention versus butting in and just talking to one person.

Do not abruptly end a conversation when you learn the other person cannot help you. Be professional and continue to be sincere by listening and enjoying the conversation. Maybe today they cannot help, but perhaps tomorrow they can become your most valuable client. Do not burn a bridge before it is built.

Do more listening than talking. Act like you were made, with one mouth and two ears, not two mouths and one ear.


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Be prepared and organized. Have your business cards, notepad and pen ready for action. Do not waste other people’s time fumbling and searching.

If at a business meal, it is always best to let the other person have their appetizer and drink or if at breakfast, a bite and coffee before talking business. Always have a casual conversation before engaging in business talk. Casual conversation helps build rapport and sets a casual and friendly tone.

If you wish to follow-up with someone after an initial meeting, consider a handwritten note. It shows you took the time to do it. E-mail is fine but consider sending a hand-written note as well.

While networking, set your electronic devices to vibrate. You can retrieve these messages discretely later after excusing yourself.

Do not go to a networking event with a goal to distribute 20 business cards. You’ll focus on this goal and lose the true goal for networking, which is quality over quantity. Judge the success of your networking by the number of quality contacts you made.

Instead of sending mass e-mails to all of your contacts seeking referrals for new clients, send individual personalized notes or make calls. Always be thankful and nurturing when asking your contacts for referrals. Of course you will always offer your help when doing so.

When name dropping, always seek permission from the person whose name you plan to drop.

You are sharpest when sober. Watch your alcoholic intake at networking events. And if drinking a cold drink, hold it in your left hand, keeping your right hand warm and comforting when sharing a handshake.

Introduction Etiquette

Yes, there are actually suggestions for introducing people. Here they are:

Introduce younger to older.

Introduce your company peer to another peer in another company.

Introduce a junior to a senior manager.

Introduce a fellow executive to a client.

When making introductions, give a brief statement about each person’s interest or profession. You can also mention something the two of you might have in common. This is an effective way to start a conversation on a casual note.


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E-mail Etiquette

E-mail can become e-fail when not used properly. Here are tips to effective e-mailing. Following are some E-mail E-fails...

Can't find the tree in the forest (of words). Make it easy to read and keep it brief. Use bullets, number your ideas, keep paragraphs small, highlight key points, etc. Start the e-mail with the key points then go into details a little farther down.

Yelling in cyberspace. Typing in ALL CAPS is like yelling in cyberspace and is actually more difficult to read.

No or meaningless subject line. Be descriptive in the subject line so a person can determine its topic and urgency level. It also helps a person to search for it at a later time.

Using E-mail to express "E-motions." It's great to come in and read an E-mail from someone who has basically rebuked or reprimanded you. It's even greater when others are copied on it! Using E-mail in this manner is unfair to the individual and lacks courage to deal with an issue directly.

Type and send. Before hitting the send button, run spell check, and re-read it for flow, content, and comprehension. Consider the recipients and ask yourself, "Will everyone know what I'm conveying?"

Professional respect and courtesy. Some E-mails can come across sharp and even abrasive. Lets make this a great place to work by saying hello to people we pass in the halls, smiling, and treating others with respect. We can apply this to E-mails as well by removing the hard edges and try to frame each E-mail with a friendly and respectful greeting and sign-off.

Impersonal and too many! Before sending an e-mail, consider calling or visiting the person. This approach builds and maintains positive working relationships and eliminates e-mail misinterpretation and going back and forth. A face-to-face or phone call is most effective in most situations.

Don’t send jokes or chain letters. Keep it professional.

Answer e-mails promptly. Give yourself a 24 hour rule to respond to e-mails within 24 hours.

Use an extended automated greeting if you can. Let people know when you are away otherwise they may think you are ignoring them.


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Phone Etiquette

Next to in-person meetings, phone calls are the next best approach to stay in contact. Here are phone etiquette tips that work well.

Apply the same 24 hour rule as you did for e-mails. Return all calls within 24 hours.

When calling, always ask if this is a good time instead of directly launching into the reason for your call.

State how much time the call will take, and stick to it.

Focus on the call. Do not do other things while on the phone. People can tell you are distracted or preoccupied with other tasks. Always give sincere focus and respect.

Do not eat or chew while on the phone.

Sit upright. If slouched, your tone and energy level will be slouched as well.

Hopefully you learned a few etiquette tips that will result in greater networking success for you. Did you highlight the items you wish to improve in? What are your top four items you plan to implement from this section?

1.

2.

3.

4.


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You learned proper etiquette for appearance, general networking, e-mail and phone.


I have identified at least four items that I can start doing immediately to improve my overall networking etiquette.


Being polite and sincere with others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back. I plan to be a millionaire!


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Day 18 – Follow-up Must-Dos

You have invested your time and effort to prepare for, attend, and talk to many contacts. Fabulous work! But the next step is the key to solidifying these contacts and growing your network and business. This section will present your follow-up must-dos.

24 Hour Rule

Within 24 hours of meeting a new contact, send a note, e-mail or call the person. The follow-up can be one or all of the below examples. Remember to keep it sincere and personal.

“It was nice to meet you.”

“I was nice to discover we both enjoy scuba diving.”

“Thank you for your time and consideration.”

“Perhaps we can meet again.”

Material Management

No, this is not about managing inventory in a warehouse. This is about doing what you said you would do when you said you’d do it or sooner. If you promised to send materials or provide any type of information, do it. You are in the initial stages of this business relationship and doing what you say builds trust and respect.

“Let’s do lunch”

If you say it, do it. Call within two weeks and suggest a get-together. It can be a morning break, lunch, dinner, or simply a coffee shop. It can be anywhere. If you discovered you have a common interest such as art, then suggest a new art exhibit downtown. Follow-up and make a suggestion.

Feedback Loop

If someone gives you a referral or passes on your information to someone else to help you out, be sure to say thank you and keep this person in the loop by letting him or her know the results. People deserve to know the results of their effort, no matter how small.


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Reasons to Thank

“Thank you.” When verbally said takes about one second and can result in years of a mutual rewarding relationship. A sincerely written thank-you note works the same but is often more effective as it takes more time and effort to do and therefore more appreciated. As stated earlier, a follow-up thank you should be done within 24 hours. Below are seven reasons to send a thank-you note. After each reason, write down at least one name of someone to whom you can send a thank-you note this week.

1. For your time and consideration. This applies to first meetings, interviews, one-on-one meetings, and other social events.

2. For a piece of advice received.

3. For business. A definite must do! Send a note to everyone involved in the decision to do business with you.

4. For a referral or a lead. This can be a business lead or simply a suggestion for a great car mechanic or cleaners.

5. For a gift. This is a no-brainer. The gift can be formal or informal such as someone giving you his or her spare pen during a meeting to keep.

6. For help. Send a thank you note to anyone who has helped you on a project of any kind.


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7. For rejection. Yes, even when some chooses not to do business with you today. They may decide to do business with you tomorrow and a thank you note will certainly open that door wider for you.

Other Notables

Nurturing relationships, both personal and professional is fundamental to having a strong network. There are many other examples deserving of a note. As done previously, after each reason, write down at least one name of someone to whom you can send a note.

1. Congratulations. This can be for a successful presentation, promotion, certification, job change, winning the meeting raffle, becoming a parent, writing a great article, etc.

2. Thinking of You. “I hope you’re doing well” note. “We should get together soon. I’ll call you next week to talk about getting together.” If you say it, do it. Put it on your calendar to do.

3. FYI (For your information). Passing on a great article or other information that you feel your contact would enjoy and benefit from is a great way to nurture a relationship.

4. Other. List at least two other reasons to send someone a note.


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You learned the follow-up must-dos.

You learned the reasons for sending a thank-you and other notes.


I have identified people to send notes to this week.


Thanking others makes me feel fabulous.


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Day 19 – Contact Control

Having a fabulous network is great, but do you have an organized system for contact control? Do you have a database to store key contact information? A database can be a simple contact section in your calendar book, entries in your e-mail contact list, or entries in your PDA (personal digital assistant). This section contains simple practical tips to organizing contact information so that it becomes an effective tool. This is the shortest section in this course but one of the most important. Your contact information is a critical tool for nurturing your contacts and maintaining and growing your network.

Key Contact Info Inventory

Whether you use a paper or electronic system, there is key information you should capture when meeting a new contact. This applies to updating current contact information as well.

Name

Company and Title

Contact info: phone, e-mail, fax, address, website

The above are the obvious entries. To give your relationships greater depth, consider including the information below as applicable to each contact and circumstance.

Preferred method of contact – call/v-mail, e-mail or visit

Date met and where

Common interests

Names of family members and close friends

Special dates, such as birthday, anniversary, new job or career, etc.

Names of people this person referred you to

General notes, such as what have you done for them lately?

Can you think of other information to include that will be helpful to you?


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Putting Your Contact Info to Work

You have a growing network and contact database. This database is a critical tool to nurture and expand your network. Use this tool to do the following:

Select three people a day or week to send a note to.

Select three people a day to call to catch-up.

Select three people to send a touch-base e-mail to.

Send an appropriate note to acknowledge a birthday, anniversary, new job or any other event.

Ask for help on a project.

Ask for a referral.

Ask for advice.

Suggest a get-together.

As promised, this section is short and sweet but is key to being organized and for maintaining your network with control. If the previous section where you were asked to follow-up with contacts by sending various notes was difficult, it could be due to a lack of an organized and comprehensive contact database. There is a phrase that applies here – “With no control, you have no plan, and with no plan you have no control.” Throughout this course you identified networking plans whether to strengthen existing contacts or develop new relationships. Keeping an accurate contact database gives you control so that you can continue to plan your next networking activity or strategy. Again, with no plan you have no control and visa versa.

Assignment: 1. Transfer your collection of business cards to your contact database. 2. Include all relevant information suggested in this section. 3. If you have a database, refine it as needed and do a clean scrub. Some people

may need to be removed or modified.


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You learned the value of having an organized and comprehensive contact list or database.

You started to build your contact database and/or refine your existing list.


I have a contact database that will assist me in nurturing my network.


I have a strong sense of control.


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Day 20 – Counting Your Accomplishments and a Simple Networking Methodology

This is a review of your accomplishments over the past weeks. You will then review a simple networking methodology. As you read each item below, check mark or highlight the items that you successfully added to your networking accomplishments. In doing so, indicate an example of how, when, where and with whom this was done. Reviewing and assessing these experiences is a powerful tool to repeat performance and ongoing improvement.

Accomplishments

√ Item Specific example of accomplishment

1. I have used my 30 second speech on new contacts.

2. I have been practicing my communication techniques which include body language.

3. I am taking steps to nurture the people in my current network.

4. I have successfully contacted at least five people I lost contact with.

5. I have joined a new networking group (association, club, etc.).

6. I have identified and networked with at least two people that I admire and that I feel would benefit me.

7. I have talked to a great networker and asked for their tips and advice on networking.


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√ Item Specific example of accomplishment

8. I have been complimenting at least five people per day.

9. I have contacted at least two new contacts for a follow-up get-together.

10. I have used one or more of the thought-provoking questions I developed on new contacts.

11. I have sent at least five thank-you notes and three other notes.

12. I have an organized contact database that gives me greater control of my network planning.

How did you do? A check mark in each row would be great. Actually, a check mark in any row is great. It means you grew as a person and a professional. Growth takes time and practice.


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A Methodology That Pulls It All Together

This methodology is easy to remember and will help you manage and nurture your contacts. It effectively summarizes the networking process.

1. Engage. Meet people. Introduce yourself. Ask questions.

2. Listen. Use your ears. Get to know a person’s needs and start to formulate how you can help them.

3. Classify. Identify each contact as either a possible direct client, someone who can provide leads and referrals, or a general acquaintance.

4. Manage. Nurture every contact with follow-ups, notes and get-togethers.

Are you ready for the final day? One more to go!!


My new contacts will benefit my business and performance.

Engage Listen Classify Manage


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Day 21 – The Networking Journey

This is it! The last section! Congratulations!

You will hopefully reference this book again and again for reminders and additional techniques to add to your networking skills. Continuous application of these techniques eventually becomes a talent, making you a natural at networking. Others will soon seek your advice and mentorship on networking techniques.

In this, the final section, you will develop specific ongoing networking goals to further your journey. Complete each section to suit your own career, interests and circumstances. Challenge yourself. In creating your goals, raise the bar higher than you think possible. You may surprise yourself.

My Daily Goals

Write down your daily goals below. Examples of daily goals may include:

Recognize and show appreciation to five people a day.

Nurture at least three people a day in your network via a call, e-mail, or written note.

Meet at least one new person each day, introducing your self via your 30 second speech.

My Daily Goals:


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My Weekly Goals

Write down your weekly goals below. Examples of weekly goals may include:

Meet my daily goals.

Contact at least one new person you’d like to meet within your industry or profession.

Contact at least three referrals or leads from members of your network.

Update my contact database with at least five new entries.

My Weekly Goals:


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My Next Six Month Goals

Write down your monthly goals below. Examples of monthly goals may include:

Meet my daily and weekly goals.

Research and join a new association, club, or affiliation related to your industry, profession, and/or personal interests.

Review your performance goals and update your networking goals accordingly.

My Next Six Month Goals:


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Final Review

As you continue networking, remember these key things.

Networking is more about giving than receiving. Be sincere and help others and in doing so, you help yourself. It is a reciprocal process.

Not all networking interactions will be successful. This is expected. Continue on your journey and you will have a fabulous network.

Nurture your network. Treat your network like a garden. It requires regular tending to grow and produce.

Go beyond just meeting people. Become involved. Lead a committee, give a presentation, write an article, volunteer.

Lastly, love what you do and do what you love. Your enthusiasm and talent will naturally shine and attract people to you like a moth to a light.

Thank you for completing this book. Hopefully through this book you have built and will continue to build a fabulous

network! Great success to you!!


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References

Nierenberg, Andrea (2005). Million Dollar Networking. Herndon, Virginia: Capital Books, Inc.

Fine, Debra (2005) The Fine Art of Small Talk. New York, New York: Hyperion

Successful Managers Handbook (3rd ed.) (1996) United States: Personnel Decisions International

Mackay, Harvey (1997) Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty. Doubleday Publishing

Documents

21 Days to Fab Networking