20 Ways to Become Forever Foxy

© 2014 20 Ways to Become Forever Foxy by Milli Fox

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Hello, and thank you for downloading this guide. I’m very excited you’re here, because

it means you’re interested in changing your life for the better. I know that your newsfeed and

inbox are probably full of fitness and nutrition related posts. Maybe you see pictures of flat

bellies and plates of fruit and you think, why can’t I have that? You subscribe to blogs that offer

tips and tricks to shrink your waist, or fat burning recipes, but no matter how many times you

resolve to finally stay on track it never really seems to stick. I mean, the food looks good, and

exercising does leave you feeling really great, so what’s the problem?

The problem is that foxiness doesn’t come from salad and cardio. Foxiness doesn’t

come from guilt or shame or deprivation. In order to implement changes into your life that

will nurture your inner fox, you have to take a broad approach. This doesn’t mean you have to

work harder, it means you have to work smarter. There are ways you can set yourself up for

success that will not put you into the vicious on and off cycle of dieting and binge exercise.

So please take this opportunity to be real with yourself and kind to yourself. The buck

stops here. You are not a victim of your situation and you are not a product of it. You are a

product of the choices you make and the habits you build. Use this guide to start out on a

sustainable path to achievement. Ditch the information over-‐load and don’t be tempted by

attention grabbing headlines in magazines, because that’s all their there for, to get your

attention. Step away from all of the confusion and use this guide to get back to basics.

Print it out if you want and re-‐read it often and anytime when you are feeling a dip in

motivation (which is bound to happen because you’re human and that’s why we love you).

Xo

#1 Ditch the quick fix

Most people who start out on a path to make changes are really motivated and

dedicated to sticking to their plan. The problem is, the expectation of instant gratification. It

took years to get where you are today, and all those years of habit building are not easily

forgotten. If you want to make a long -‐term change that sticks, you have to employ a long-‐term

solution. A crash-‐fix to your problems is going to end in a crash landing. People are extremely

resistant to change and it isn’t just the conscious you that has a say in the matter. The

subconscious you loathes change because it requires far too much effort and your life is the

most comfortable when your subconscious can keep you running on autopilot. The best

solution for this is to forget the major overhaul that you expect to show you results within a

couple of days. Unless it’s for a specific reason and for a specific time frame, the major overhaul

may seem like a good idea, but for most of us it’s completely unrealistic. There really is no

magic bullet or magic pill that’s going to give you the quick results you’re hoping for. The good

news is, the long term plan is easier, its more sustainable and you won’t have the major

emotional highs and lows that come along with falling off the wagon, and getting back on

repeatedly.

#2 Appeal to your logical self, but not for too long

Your logical self is part of your conscious self and that means that logic takes conscious

effort. Your subconscious doesn’t really care very much about logical reasoning. Its more

concerned with making things easy so your conscious efforts can be free to combat other more

pressing demands (like oncoming threats such as lions, tigers and bears). However, you need

your logical self to determine what goals are going to be the most realistic for you.

If you set out to make changes that are illogical for your life, they are very likely to fizzle

out quickly. For example, if you know realistically that you can only fit in a gym workout 3x a

week with your work schedule and you make your goal to go 5x a week you are going to work

pretty hard consciously to find that extra time to get there. However, if you have your 3x a

week fitting perfectly in your schedule, and you plan other activities that get you moving

instead of sitting with your friends and family it won’t feel like such a burden.

#3 Get Specific- make your goals actionable

People are much more likely to achieve goals that they write down and that they refer

back to often. When you create a vague goal, it’s a lot easier to change your definition of that

goal to what suits your preference in the moment. It becomes easier and easier to rationalize

behaviours that are not helping you move towards you goal. When you don’t have a clear idea

of where you’re headed, the path you should be on becomes less and less recognizable. At

some point or another you forget about the intensity and passion you had when you initially

made your goal and it falls to the wayside. In order to avoid this, you can do a few simple

things while you are making your goal.

You have to define what it is you want to do in the big picture, for example, get

healthier. This is where most people stop. Next, you need to determine what getting healthier

is going to look like in your life, and exactly how you’re going to implement that. For example, I

want to eat more nutritious foods and I am going to commit to eating home cooked meals five

days a week.

To take it one step further, you can take a look at exactly how you are going to make

sure that this is a realistic and how its going to fit into your life. So you may say I am going to

commit to cooking several dishes on Wednesday and Sunday to make sure I have home cooked

meals to eat when I don’t have time to cook.

#4 Don’t forget about your emotional brain

You need to define what your goal means to you and why it’s important to you. For

example, I want to be healthier so I can feel confident that I am setting a good example for my

kids and teaching them healthy habits because I want to be a good parent.

You have to go deep. You have to find out what the real emotional driver is behind your

goals. It definitely is never just because you want your favorite jeans to fit. Its how you feel in

those jeans, what those feelings mean to you in your life. Do those jeans make you feel like you

can conquer the world? Will meeting your goal make you feel like you’ve regained long lost

control over your life?

We are pretty bad at being motivated by logic alone. Of course some of us are turned on

by logic, but the majority of our motivation is going to come from deep within you. That’s why

they call it intrinsic motivation because it’s not external. So, it would be truly beneficial if you

took the time to sit down with a pen and paper and asked yourself, why do I want this? And

when you have your answer, ask yourself again, but WHY do I want this? Dig deeper and

deeper until you find your truest motivation. That will be what keeps you going in those

moments where you’re ready to throw your hands in the air and say-‐ what’s the point anyway?

#5 Realize your path will not be linear

Think about how you got to where you are now in your life. Did you at some point

decide where you wanted to end up and then work your way directly to where you are now? I

think the chances of that are pretty slim. Most likely you just made choices along the way and

they all added up and voila-‐ here you are now. That may be a fabulous thing, or a not so

fabulous thing depending on how all of the pieces came together. That is also how your health

comes together. Its not a linear journey where you decide boom I’m going to fly straight from

here to healthy. If you try to do that, you’ll likely fall of the rails and wake up some time down

the road and ask yourself what happened. So in order to have a more successful journey, it’s

very beneficial to realize that your path will not be a linear one-‐ and that’s ok.

There is a time for indulgence and a time for diligence. Sometimes we will get distracted

away from our goals but we can always return to them. We never have to give up completely

but so long as we are constantly taking two steps forward after one step back, we’ll get to

where we want to be. Slow and steady definitely wins the race here!

#6 Change your self management style

As a society we have become hyper-‐aware of bullying. We have zero tolerance policies

in our schools and we are now even starting to watch for it in our workplaces. Bullying is

intolerable, and we will not stand by and watch it happen to our children, so why are we

allowing it to happen to ourselves? And I’m not talking about your bossy co-‐worker; I’m

talking about YOU!

If you try to motivate yourself by belittling yourself and calling yourself names, you’re

not going to get very far. This harsh self-‐management style is just as damaging, if not more,

than that school yard bully. It makes you believe you are not worth it. How can we apply

different expectation of behaviour to ourselves and expect them to have any sort of positive

impact?

You have to turn that punishment into encouragement. You have to turn the hate into

love. If it means stopping the health initiatives all together and just working on that first, then

that’s what needs to be done.

I highly suggest starting a practice of daily self-‐love. Start a journal and write positive

things about yourself in it daily. Write down reasons why your body deserves love. Think

about it as though you were writing to the child you and be that supportive and gentle.

This practice will make all the difference in those moments where you veer off course. If

you’re self deprecating, the chances are that you’ll spiral downward and not pull in the reins

and get back on track. If you’re supportive and understanding with yourself, you’ll come

around much faster. On top of that, pressuring yourself just adds unnecessary stress in a

world where that’s the last thing any of us need-‐ especially for our health.

#7 Obtain support

There are two reasons we need support:

1. We are masters of rationalization. I know it and you know it. We are so extremely

talented at talking ourselves into and out of things. We can think of all the reasons in the world

why we aren’t able to do something that we know we should, or even deep down want to do.

The problem is, we don’t have anyone to say hey-‐ that’s crap. You know that decision is not

going to make you happy, so what’s holding you back? Sometimes we all need a reality check

and a lot of the time its very hard to give yourself one. If we can find someone who will be real

with us when we need them to, we are much more likely to succeed. Find someone who can be

your voice of reason and better yet find someone who will jump on board with you. Social

support is of the utmost importance when it comes to making life changes. It can be the

difference between you staying the course and rationalizing yourself back into your comfort

zone.

2. There is an old saying that we are the sum of the people that we spend the most time

with. While this may or may not be all that true, it certainly does have a large impact on the

type of lifestyle choices we make. If we are around people who are eating all kinds of foods

we’re trying to avoid and have all sorts of unhealthy habits and behaviours we’re trying to

change its going to be much harder for us to get away from those things. The best way to make

sure your new lifestyle sticks is to surround yourself with people who have the type of lifestyle

you’re trying to achieve. They will be the best source of encouragement that you can find

because its likely that they’ve been where you are now and they will want to see you get to

your happiest and healthiest place.

Unfortunately, this also means you should spend less time with people who lead unhealthy

lifestyles and aren’t willing to change. It is likely that people like this will try to sabotage your

efforts and persuade you to miss the gym today, or just this time eat the big unhealthy meal

with them. The truth is people don’t want to feel bad about their habits so they will try to

avoid those feelings and if it means bringing you down, then its likely they will try. Its not a

malicious thing, but we see it happen over and over again.

The take home here is that people with adequate social support are generally more

successful, happier and even live longer lives. So, take some time to evaluate the people you’re

spending the most time with and if they are helping or hindering you reach your goals. You

might want to consider having some serious conversations with those closest to you and

express your deepest motivations for these changes that you worked to discover earlier. That

way they will understand that this is very important to you and will likely be more supportive.

#8 Look for a source of inspiration

Turn off the TV, close your magazines and stop looking online. Models, fitness

professionals and celebrities are constantly airbrushed, on top of being surrounded by a team

of professionals making them look their absolute best. If you use this as inspiration you are

going to be left feeling less than perfect, because perfect is an illusion. Do not use imaginary

images of women as inspiration. The best inspiration that you can find will be someone who

you admire for his or her achievements and strengths. If you don’t know someone personally,

it can be someone you know of. On top of that there are a slew of amazing groups on social

media that are led by really real and honest strong women. Its important that you find some

source of inspiration that you can turn to when you’re not feeling the grind.

#9 Have scheduled check-ins

We have all heard at some point or another that our goals should be measureable and

timed. That’s great and all but what if we slip up on measuring our progress and then the time

slips by? Well in order to avoid that, it’s a great idea to schedule check ins to evaluate progress

and troubleshoot any areas that may not be going as well as planned. You can do this by

creating events in your calendar every week or two weeks in which you will answer a series of

questions. You can just check in with yourself and write your answers down in a journal so

you can look back on them down the road or you can find a friend who will give you a call on a

scheduled day and time and ask you the same questions. The important part here is assuring

consistency and providing some type of accountability. How can you know where you need to

tighten up, or get the confirmation that you’re doing a great job if you don’t take the time to

check in with yourself?

Sometimes, we are doing an awesome job and we don’t even realize it until we step

back and take a look at what we’ve accomplished. Other times we think we’re doing alright

only to get to the finish line and realize we could have done so much more... if only. So, buy

yourself a journal that you either keep for yourself or hand over to a trusty friend and write

your questions in the front that you want to ask yourself every one to two weeks.

For example,

-‐Am I making the progress I’ve hoped to make in the last two weeks?

-‐In all honesty, on a scale of 1-‐10, how well have I been sticking to the new

behaviours that I set out to implement?

-‐What do the measurements I’ve decided to keep look like? (whether this be

inches, or some other gauge of progress)

#10 Follow your strengths

If you are a terrible runner, then why would you choose running to be your method of

exercise? As time passes, your resistance will grow and grow to the point where you will

dread the thought of exercising and likely find any reason not to do it. There is a pattern

forming here-‐ do what is going to work for you and your life. People feel great when they do

something they’re good at and even sometimes when they do something they’re decent at. If

you hate a certain form of exercise, then find something you’re good at. Even if you’re not that

great at it, at least do something that brings you pleasure. There is no holy grail of fitness and

health. The key to success is consistency and enjoyment. If you are doing something that you

love the chances are you’ll stick with it. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over

with the expectation of a different result. So, if you’ve signed up for the gym and cancelled

your membership more times than you can count, then why do it again? If you don’t enjoy the

gym, then maybe try an aqua-‐fit class, step out of your comfort zone and get back into playing

soccer. Try something new and if you don’t like that, it’s okay! You can always keep trying

until you find something that clicks whether it be because you’re really good at it or because

you really enjoy it. If you’re really nervous about trying something new on your own then

recruit a pal and have them tag along with you to buffer the anxiety of navigating a new

situation on your own.

#11 Realize that success is not black and white

The biggest problem with making changes that last is extreme thinking. When you

think in ultimate terms its very easy to get discouraged and give up. It also sets you into an

unhealthy cycle of binge and repent. Success does not mean hitting the gym 5 days a week 51

weeks out of the year. It means getting back into the gym after a 4 day weekend, even if its only

once that week. It means having a cheat meal once a week and not writing that off as a

complete failure and giving up the entire effort.

A number on the scale, or a certain pant size does not define success. You did not fail if

you reached your deadline day and you didn’t hit your exact goal. So long as you have made

steady progress, that is a success. You can even go for weeks at a time with no progress, but

also no regression and call it a success. Behavioural goals are successes just as much as

physical goals are.

You have to give yourself recognition for a wide range of accomplishments because if

you define success to narrowly you are going to feel like a failure and stop trying. Feeling

defeated will never be the encouragement you need to press on. Realizing that even if you

didn’t make it to your original goal but you still made it half way (or however far) is still a big

success! And even if you don’t meet your goal (because maybe it was unrealistic) but you still

changed your life in countless ways for the better, got rid of chronic health problems etc. that

is still a big success! Sometimes we need to reframe our ideas of success in order to succeed.

#12 Understand that your willpower is an exhaustible resource

All day you’re self-‐monitoring; constantly imposing limits upon yourself, using your

upper cortex for executive function and that is tiring business. Your brain has a limited

amount of steam before it needs a break. The same applies to your will power. You are not

devoid of will power because you were so good all week and then you “broke down” and had a

cookie on Thursday night. Your will power needs to be respected as a valuable resource an

allocated accordingly. There are ways that you can assist it by taking away some of the

workload. For example, packing a lunch you know you’ll look forward to eating will help you

avoid needing will power to stop you from going down to the vending machine in the mid

morning. If you didn’t even bring a lunch, you’d need to use substantially more will power in

that situation. It’s the equivalent of choosing your battles and strategizing which ones will

require your will power the most.

This is also another reason why you should avoid being overly restrictive with yourself.

Being overly restrictive and not allowing any built-‐in treats will put you into a state of

deprivation. Deprivation mode can KILL willpower in any battle. No matter how hard you try,

at some point you will crack and fall hard if you starved your life of enjoyment. Ultimately,

respect your will power and it will do you a lot more good than if you exhaust it.

#13 Trust yourself

Your body is extremely intelligent, and so is your intuition. The problem is, we don’t

listen. You have to learn to trust the signals that your body gives you because it is your best

guiding light. You can use it to tell you what foods work best, when to eat, when to eat more,

when to stop eating etc. The problem is, when we stop listening we plow past all of our signals.

This works in both directions, when our body has had too much of something (food or

exercise) or when it hasn’t had enough. When you don’t listen to the whispers of your body, it

will eventually start yelling at you. If you feel compelled to make changes, the chances are that

it’s started already. However, instead of looking only to external resources to get you back on

course, you really have to take some time to look internally. You have everything you need

already to make some significant changes. Your body will tell you when its had enough

exercise, and when you get to a certain point, it will even start to signal when it wants more.

Our bodies are the most complex biological organisms in existence and we have millions of

year of evolution behind us to enforce it. You have to believe that your body is constantly

trying to course correct you and bring you back to a state of equilibrium. So the best thing you

can do is start to listen. It might not be easy at first, and troubleshooting will be required but

take the signals as they come and don’t just brush them off. You will be happy you trusted

yourself!

#14 Stop waiting for the right time to start

Looking for the right time to starting getting healthier is a procrastination technique.

Plain and simple, there is no way around it. If you are serious you will start within the next five

minutes. However small that action may be, it counts. You have to get the momentum rolling

and its not going to be any easier on the first of the month, or the year. The next season won’t

make anything more appealing. There are ways you can get it going now if its impossible to

give the full effort you want to due to some extenuating circumstances. Start on a Wednesday

at 2, and if you fall down on Saturday, course correct on Sunday. The point is to start now and

keep going. There are blips in the road on any journey that leads to a better you, that’s just the

way it’s going to be and that’s ok. It’s much better to start right away with small changes and

achieve minimal results than to wait and achieve nothing. Small changes can add up to big

changes, but no zero plus zero times zero still equals zero. So get up and make something

happen today!

#15 Work on one thing at a time, it should feel relatively easy

This comes back to the fact that moderation always beats extremism. Extreme changes

are hard to maintain because we really don’t like change very much. Change requires a lot of

attention that your brain and your body would much rather make available for other things,

like defending against lions, tigers and bears. It has been proven time and again that people

are much more successful in forming new habits when they concentrate on one habit at a time.

Success rates drop to half when even just two habits are focused on. The point here, in the

journey of permanent change, is to outsmart yourself. You have to outsmart all of these built in

mechanisms and resistances that your brain and body are indefinitely going to present you

with. Don’t over plan; just pick one habit that you think is your biggest limiting factor in health

and work on it. Be careful that you aren’t too vague with this either. You can’t just say I’m

going to work on better nutrition this month. You should get pretty specific, as earlier

suggested, and say something like for the next 2 weeks I am going to aim to eat protein with

every meal and if I don’t hit 80% compliance, I will work on it for another two weeks until I do.

This kind of behaviour goal shouldn’t feel overwhelming, they should be well defined and have

a gauge for success. If you work with this type of focus, you will feel much less internal

resistance and be set up to conquer permanent change.

#16 Know that every little bit counts

We all know the saying “it was the straw that broke the camels back”, but do we ever

really think about what that means? Well, lets take a minute. Every little piece of straw on its

own seems powerless, but when you keep piling them up, their weight becomes substantial.

This principle can be applied perfectly to your lifestyle by considering the camel as your health

and the straws as unhealthy behaviours. The fact is, our bodies can handle a lot of unhealthy

behaviours before it starts to catch up to us. So when we first try removing some of them, we

might not feel like we are making that much of a difference. However, if we just leave them

alone and even add one more, our camel might collapse. The same works in the opposite

direction when we start adding new healthy behaviours we might not feel the effects

immediately but the truth is each time you remove a straw from the camels back, you are

easing the load on your body and allowing your camel to become healthier and healthier.

When you’ve taken the weight of enough unhealthy behaviours away, you are going to feel free

and able to prance around. So, don’t discount all the small efforts you’ve made, when they all

add up they can literally make or break you!

#17 Kick the “its already ruined” attitude to the curb

This one is a killer. This is the attitude that turns a cheat meal, into a cheat weekend

into a throw the rules out the window kind of lifestyle. On top of all of that, it also highly

perpetuates guilt and shame. It is absolutely poisonous. You are allowed to go outside of the

rules, it does not decrease your worth as a person, it does not mean you are weak and pathetic

and all those other things that people will punish themselves with after a harmless indulgence.

Its only when you throw your hands into the air and say, oh well, I’ve already messed this up

beyond repair, might as well just go with it, that you have truly failed yourself.

Rules are great, they are guidelines by which you can hold yourself accountable, but as

we mentioned before, you have to ditch the extremist attitude. You have to allow yourself

wiggle room because you are human and that is a great thing! Variety is the spice of life, choice

is the most beautiful and creative aspect of our existence, why would you want to suffocate it

completely?! The truth is, you can’t, so don’t try. Plan for detours, expect the unexpected and

don't go off the rails when it happens. Set a goal for yourself within you rules aim for 90%,

85% heck even 75% will be better than giving up completely.

#18 Be honest with yourself

It’s always easier to blame our shortcomings or problems on something external. It’s a

built in safeguard against feelings of failure and shame but the beauty about us is that we have

the ability to stand outside of ourselves and look inward. We might blame our situation for our

bad habits, but when we step back we can see that it really is under our control. A lot of times,

in order to solve a problem, we need to recognize the source of the problem and if we are

assigning blame elsewhere how can we fix the true cause? You must take the time for

introspection every so often because what good will come of being in denial? In order to make

changes to ourselves and grow we need to be real with ourselves and if this is really difficult

for you, then the point about seeking support really applies here.

Also, it requires a lot of honesty to allow yourself to feel. Making permanent changes

will bring you into a host of feelings that you may not have expected. You need to be honest

with yourself about these feelings and take the time to sit with them and allow yourself to

process. Feeling is not a weakness, in fact it’s a major strength to confront your feelings and be

able to acknowledge them. This skill will enable you to properly work through your feelings

and move on instead of hiding them away somewhere and telling yourself that you’re over it.

Being a rock is not being strong. Be honest with yourself and things are much less likely to

come back and bite you when you’re least expecting it.

#19 Do things you enjoy

Life can become monotonous, and falling into a rut is one of the worst things that can

happen to us. It makes inspiration fade and motivation hide. If you have gotten yourself into a

good pattern and you’re enjoying it, that’s one thing, but once you start to move through that

pattern like a robot, its time to shake things up a bit. In terms of exercise, take a week or two

off of the gym or your spin class and go try something new. Do something you’ve been

thinking of trying but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Make sure you keep it enjoyable. I’m not

saying if you don’t feel like exercising one day to just pass it by, but if you are spending the

majority of the time participating in something that is making you miserable, its time to

rethink it. We have so many options when it comes to nutrition and exercise. We can try new

recipes, and go to new restaurants if we’ve been eating chicken and broccoli for the past

month. The formula for success here is to not let life become stale.

It doesn’t even have to be nutrition and exercise related. Maybe you just need to treat

yourself. Rejuvenation and relaxation are unbelievably important, so make sure you make

time for it. Sometimes a “restoration workout” can be more beneficial than a “sweat session”.

Get a massage, go for a pedicure, or go buy yourself a new top. Whatever it is, make sure that

you have pick-‐me-‐ups and things that bring you enjoyment in your life. It will help safeguard

against the pit of monotony that can kill your plan becaus.

#20 Remember that life is made for living and loving

It’s easy to get caught up in the details of our plan and forget what life is really about.

We have to go back to our original deep emotional goals and revisit why we want to

accomplish these goals in the first place. Chances are they have something to do with family,

friends, being able to continue making good memories, setting a good example etc. Once in a

while, we have to make sure that our actions are true to our deepest goals. If we are so caught

up in the minutiae that we don’t realize we are actually taking time away from the good things

in life, then we are in fact doing more harm than good. We have to realize that those last 5-‐10

lbs are not worth missing out on important events to hit the gym or to avoid eating certain

foods. Like the majority of the points listed in this e-‐book, it comes back to moderation. We

have to take the middle path, not only ensure success but also to avoid pain, guilt and suffering.

Our journey will not only affect us, it will affect everyone around us in some way or another

and in the end everyone wants to be happy. So remember above all that life is not about

deprivation and sitting out, it’s about creating a balance between physical, mental and

emotional health.

Holistic health has become something that we hear about often and it sounds very

warm and fuzzy and maybe even a bit woo-‐woo. Despite all the associations, the word holistic

perfectly describes the focus we need in order to make lasting changes. The Merriam-‐Webster

Dictionary defines it as relating to, or concerned with complete systems rather than with

individual parts. Our lives are made up of a mass of systems that all intersect, sometimes in

multiple places. We have different hats that we wear and we might think that we can easily

keep different areas of our lives compartmentalized and neatly tucked into their places but the

truth is no wall will ever be strong enough to keep one area from influencing another. You can

never separate the influence that being a parent will have on your business interactions and

you can never remove the effects your culture will have on your parenting etc.

The point here is you need to embrace the entirety of who you are and roll with it. Quit

trying to mould yourself into some rigid expectation you’ve created because life is messy and

fluid and meant to be enjoyed. Sometimes we get really caught up with the details of what

we’re doing on a daily basis and we lose sight of the big picture. All we really want is to be

happy and we kind of forget that when creating our ‘to-‐do’ and ‘should-‐do’ lists. Obviously we

pursue health in hopes that achieving a certain level of it will bring us happiness, but we are

only detracting from our happiness when we start bringing guilt and shame into the picture.

So the most important thing we can do for ourselves is find enjoyment in our health

pursuits and try our best to empower one another and ourselves. Remember, we are all

human and that’s ok. That is really what makes us so beautiful.

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20 Ways to Become Forever Foxy