WELCOME• The Pig was Choking from the Poking at the Waters Edge, 8pm Friday 10th February, 2012.• January's Minutes confirmed by the Big C, whilst having copped a flogging in the last minutes

concerning his various appendages making an unwelcome appearance, unabashedly continued presiding over the meeting in fine form tonight.

• Present tonight were 32 members. The Big C & Rosie, Markey and Max, The SOON YEE, R2CockAss, Bryan, Big Bad Joe, Tukai, Ben, Erikk, The Donno and the Sarah, Cherie and menagerie, The Katie and Billy PEE, Lou, Nathan, Builder Ben and Fransesca, Loren, Mike and Karen, The Renee, Pistol Pete and Slim Shady, Pablo and Kerrie, and Kapeena and John Lyn, and Russell.

• Apologies from John the Font who was absent again due to no wifey permission, apologies from Brian Fong who was in Vanuatu drinking “real Kava”, and Alabama Ronnie adhering to the ‘stop eating you fat bastard” diet finding little time to fish, but expected in Fiji soon to rejoin the Dream Team.

MONTHLY MEETING

MINUTES10th February, 2012

The Dream Team back together again - experience & bluster make for some tall

tales to come.

A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein, but the

attention span of Daffy Duck.

Ugly Nick frenzied fishing to dull the pain of

Bec's "knitting circle".

The Billy PEE - "The Katie told me to go to hell, so I went home!"

BBJo - “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright,

until you hear them speak.”

Bryan's face after finding out his mum has found him a job and getting knocked

back for fishing on Russell's boat.

Lou - Fish Whisperer & known member of the

Wakeham fishing cartel.

R2Cockass collecting donations for GOD. “Grog On Demand”

We fervently hope Markey's mates don’t share his continual ability to out-fish even

the most experienced among us.COMMENT REMOVED

Deemed “Too mean” by The Sarah,

Kapeena and Jonlyn making a rare but

welcome appearance.

Great to have Karen back in Fiji, bringing gumbo, red velvet cake & wupp ass back to Pacific Harbour.

Renee, if you were wondering why your glasses were a little

sticky & covered in fingerprints, here’s why.

EVENTS COMMITTEE

The combined Shore and Sea Fishing Competition is confirmed for the Saturday 17th March 2011 (St. Patrick’s Day) called “The SEALANDER”.Some details thus far:• The Comp will run from 7am to 5pm, with base at the TerraTrek Beach (Russel’s place where we had the

last comp).• Check in is mandatory for both land based and boats, and you can show up in boat if you choose to?• Members only Comp and is $6 entry for adult, $3 for kids under 16 yo, except Markey who is in his own

category.• Rods/Reels/Hand Lines/Electric reels all permitted.• Comps will be judged separately (The Billy PEE is officiating, adjudicating, pontificating, leering, deriding,

and judging).• For the boat comp, skipper organises and responsible for everything from crew to fuel.• All Comps are based on biggest fish as determined by measurement (length by girth) with photo.

Something will be given on the day to be placed in photo to validate catch.• GT’s caught must be released.• For Shore, heaviest fish will be weighed on shore.• Captain's Prize for most fish at 6 fish/angler maximum. • Need Sponsors and Donations of Food. Erikk pledged chilli so far.

EDUMUCATION COMMITTEE

Erikk presented us with a training session on correctly “SPOOLING REELS”. Missed the beginning of Erikk’s spiel as I made a hasty dash to the coconuts, but deducing from my exhaustive repertoire of knowledge and from The Renee’s illegible chicken scratchings on my notepad, that you must completely fill the spool and, particularly with BRAID, you MUST get the line tight. Other important points;

‣ To get the line tight you will need the help of another person, and 2 rods.‣ Spool the new reel on drag setting. (If you don’t, braid will be spinning around spool).

More fine presentations from The Big C and Erikk.

Female grappling technique?

Ben helping out in demonstrating correct

spooling technique.

‣ Some people like to use tape around the spool. The Big C recommends doing 2 wraps followed by a UNI knot on top, then cut off the tag end or you can use the tag end to spread across the arbor. Pull tight and then take 10 wraps tight on reel.

‣ Put reel on strike position (can put harness on) to get tension.Then you can commence reeling in. ‣ Take braid in bucket of water (with gloves) then reel for about 40 minutes, sharing the joy with other

“multiple stooges” if you were discerning enough to purchase from the Big C’s shop and astute enough to assemble and spool the reel there?

‣ Have enough tension on reeling in to bend your rod.‣ With mono line, don’t pull super tight as you can crack the spool or make the line go thinner, which

when you have a big catch, the stored tension memory causes the mono to release the tension and ravel into a nest.

‣ Similarly, untight (loosely wound) braid will unravel into a nest.

The Big C “tied” together the “POPPING SET UP” of all the previous presentations of the BIMINI TWIST Knot, A TWISTED LEADER, a UNI Knot and a LOOP TO LOOP Knot.

‣ As with any knots, ALWAYS lubricate the knot with “lotsa spit”, AND “pull slowly” when tightening knot.

‣ Don’t forget to put a swivel and split ring on all your lures.‣ Nick finally found his voice and chimed in with “Pull your tongue out of the loop before you spit and

pull tight”.

The Big C also gave some pointers on how to “AVOID WIND KNOTS” when casting using Braid. ‣ Don’t overfill your spool,‣ Employ correct casting technique,‣ Don’t cast into the wind,‣ Nick chipped in with “buy an electric reel”, to which we relegated to the trash can.

FISHING TALES

The floor was opened to members to regale us with stories of their fishing tales from the month gone by:

• The Nick was is too shy to speak, but not too shy to flash us, with the Billy PEE commenting on the evidence of his rather “short story” on display!

Who's missing the Dollye terribly and dulling the pain by eating, talking and fishing too much?

SOON YEE - "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens" Jimi Hendrix

Is it a wonder Bec thinks Ugly Nick is located somewhere on the genetic food

chain between chimp and amoeba?

After a couple more beers we later heard from Nick. He got ahead of a Tuna school (no mean feat in the swell with a 4m Malibu), and caught Skip Jack, then caught a 20Kg Tuna as the Tuna school stayed put.

• Loren “Got into a lot of Tuna, with 1 for 2 on popping, 2 for 3 on divers, and Ben and Erikk were nearby out at Frigates surfing from the “Shark Dive Boat”, when the most amazing, gob smacking event was witnessed by all three!

A large Walu jumped out of the water chasing a bait fish, BOTH CLEARED THE 10FT HIGH SHARK DIVE BOAT BY 5 FT, with the Walu snapping in the air at the bait fish as it went.

IMPORTANT SAFETY CONSIDERATION (from your ever diligent Safety Marshall - The Donno)

This tale is amazing but also highlights some important safety considerations - here is another example of something unusual happening out at sea having the potential to “take you out” and knock you overboard for example if the fish hit you whilst you are minding your own business.

So for all you fisherman that insist on fishing by your self, ensure you have a fishing “buddy”, as similarly practiced when you are diving, surfing etc, like taking The Donno, to ensure your white or black hairy arse is looked after (talking about you Nick ya bastard)!

• The SOON YEE squealed like Brian’s pigs going to slaughter at the prospect of recounting his first ever GT catch while out fishing with The Big C. BUT this was apparently nothing like the noise he made while trying to reel the GT in!

• Slim Shady decided to sing to us again. None could decipher the connection with fishing.

(The flashing of his rather portly, rotund, in need of excision, stop eating you fat bastard, unattractive belly - in good company here it appears), was enough to stop the Donno from eating any more of The Renee’s fine food, and for other members to run screaming into the night. Even Nick’s diminutive, sorry ass excuse of any manhood did not have the same gut wrenching, chunder inducing affect on the members).

• Nathan started his tale by particularly emphasising that on his recent New Zealand trip, he was not there to fraternise with sheep (me doth thinks he protest too much)! He was visiting his family’s farm and went Trout fishing, and was spied on the other side of the river by a Trout inspector checking on fishing licenses. As Nathan did not have a license, and it was his Goddam parent’s farm, he pretended not to hear and concentrated on fishing.

It seems that Nathan has a natural proclivity for catching eels, and shared his secrets for catching said eels with his daughter (lucky her!).

The Halco Lure Prize for best fishing tale went to LOREN.

Erikk - subscribing to the Nietzche's proposition

that "Any explanation is better than none".

Sheep, Eels, New Zealand-almost as nuseating as Slim

Shady's belly!

Slim Shady - "A bird in the hand will never shit on your head."

JAN / FEB MEMBER’S CATCH

Dodgy poisonous Red Bass which the

Rajiineesh wanted me to eat. Fair Dinkum!Loren fishing with

Russell caught a fine GT.

Check out The Big C’s Xstreem Fishing Blog - “In Search of Doggies” for a colourful account & many

photo’s of his crew’s search for Dogtooth Tuna.

After hours of jigging, blistered fingers &

catching every species imaginable Wayne hooked this doggie, bringing them

that much closer to catching that 50kg

monster in their sights.

Loren fishing with bait using a double hook rig

with a sinker on the bottom. A very effective rig for catching food fish, and

he proves it here.

A distinct lack of Rosie in these pictures? But

plenty of Brendan - here with a big Rainbow

Runner a member of the Jack family, CarangideaCaptain Big C &

An Emporer

It doesn’t get much calmer than this in Beqa Lagoon. (photo courtesy of Callan&Rosie) Meanwhile - out on

Rajneesh’s boat The Donn’s ass told a different story.

MONTHLY PHOTO COMP - “Too Cool for the School”

The Wayne and GT. Soon Yee with an Almaco Jack

SOON YEE and Wayne on a roll that day. Rusty Jobfish caught by the SOON YEE -

an handsome & tasty fish !

Grouper by WayneGreat Mahi Mahi, but what the hell kinda way is that to

put a hat on the fish?

Grouper ( Donu)Doubleline Mackeral (Salala Ni Toga) sporting some great

body piercings.

Grouper or Donu Rusty Jobfish

Bluefin looking Too Cool for the School.

Rajnesh’s Red Bass about to crack the cap of a cold one with his teeth.

Highfin Grouper

Nice GT for Wayne who apparently

continued to pop while the

wind had everyone else sitting down,

Grouper or Donu - striking resemblance!

Rusty Jobfish caught by Brendan

at around 100m.

HOT TIPS

Billy PEE - “Follow Nick” if you wanna catch fish.Nick - “Get in boat and get out there.”Loren - “When Tuna are boiling, don’t cast into the middle.” Alabama Mike - “Keep your phone in water tight bag.”The Big C - “Never leave a spot when fish are ON.”Slim Shady - “When the fish are hot, don’t let Pistol Pete sing.”Nick - “When swell is 15ft, don’t have it up your ass when in a small boat.”

The Katie secured the Shimano lure on behalf of the winner The Billy PEE.

TREASURER’S REPORT

With our trusty Treasurer seemingly pouring over vast transcripts and seemingly endless screeds of tabulated data, we have arrived at an amount of $1576.25 in Club Funds.

OTHER NEWS

• February’s photo fishing Competition is “TOO KOOL FOR THE SCHOOL”. (Submissions included in these minutes.)

• Final orders taken for the new swishy SOON YEE long sleeve cool grey “glow in the dark” made in “Fukishima” RASH t-shirts. As usual from the progenitor , they will be available “SOON”!

• Cement Plaque will be up by next meeting promised Erikk and Ben.

Meeting ended at 9.30 pm, whereupon the more robust members relocated to the Tackle shop to continue "talking the talk".PLEASE NOTE. Next meeting is Friday the 9th March, 2012 at 7.30pm.

We saw this little guy smoking earlier but had to include this great pic of the Big C (with The Donno & Rejneesh in

the background trying to steal his fishing spots.)

Ad Galama fished a FAD in Koh Tao, Thailand with baits on light tackle and hooked a whole lotta Dorado.

FISH RECIPE OF THE MONTH

ROSIE’S STEAMED WHOLE FISH - CHINESE STYLE

1. Butterfly your fish.2. Steam fish till cooked or poke fork into

flesh and if it goes in easily, this means it's done, never overcook it!

3. Place on a platter, pour soy sauce over the whole fish, sprinkle chopped ginger, garlic, chillies and green onions over the fish.

4. heat up peanut oil or soya bean oil till it's smoking then using a table spoon carefully scoop hot oil and pour over the fish then it's done and ready to be eaten !

According to Rosie, the most difficult step is butterflying the fish. We may organise a demo at a future meeting, but in the meantime, I suggest searching youtube for a demo video.

DISCLAIMERIf something in these minutes offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all collectively heap scorn and derision on you. My sense of humour may hurt your feelings, I suggest you drink a bowl of grog and get over it. Members and other unauthorized recipients are advised to be ATTENDANT at the meeting in order to establish the veracity and accuracy of these minutes. The author is not liable for any libel arising from any inaccuracies and flagrant distortions of the observable truth, due in part to the possible onset of dementia, short attention span, and effects of Grog on this sub prime crusty old fart. I also appear to be going deaf, so PLEASE SPEAK UP !! Any miss spelt words and/or bad ‘grama’ and/or piss poor punctuation - tell it to someone that cares. (maybe The Rosie, head of our Complaints Department, who it is known, likes to listen to drawn out tales of woe and self-regret).Any criticism of these minutes will be treated the same as a legless man teaching running, and there will be no answering of any query based on the possibility (however remote) that the answer is not known. From experience, It has been found pointless in arguing with idiots, as they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.If you received these minutes in error, take it as a sign that you are indeed blessed and fortunate to be receiving the pearls of wisdom contained therein and then remit the requisite membership fee as a sign of appreciation. Failure to do so may result in ubiquitous viral nasties infesting and plaguing your computer, which won’t be from any contained within the transmission of this document, but by the bad JuJu inherent in your erstwhile actions. Failure to invite and actually TAKE OUT FISHING the author on any fishing expeditions, may result in a diverse disproportionate disturbing diatribe disseminated onto your deserving deadset drongo dropkick delinquent derriere. If voicing any disdain at this dilemma, don’t let the door hit you where the creator split your difference on the way out.It should be emphasized that no photos received are altered in any way by the author, to render the subject (sender) in unflattering ways, however, sometimes the subject forgets (in their quest for universal acclaim and approval of their feats) that they indeed may be considered butt ugly and no amount of editing or photoshop can fix their unfortunate plight.Whilst I am busy dispensing self serving platitudes or aphorisms, remember “carpe diem” and “fishing is a way of life”, and failure to do either is not “mea maxima culpa”.

The Donno - Twisted Leaders Secretary (with mucho help from The Sarah)

Deco the Dive Shop Dog - “Thank god it’s over, don’t ever take me to a meeting again.”