WRITE Like You Mean It

Danielle PouporeCommunications & Marketing Specialist for Student Affairs John Jay College of Criminal Justice

@SoMeDanielleP

What Do We Write?

WHY Do We Write?

• To provide & exchange information• To instruct• To establish relationships• To request assistance • To share ideas• To be understood

How can we help others understand us?

Grammar

I’m going to eat my work study student’s back in five minutes. What Tom wrote:

What Tom meant:

I’m going to eat. My work study student’s back in five minutes.

What Alice understood…

Tom writes an e-mail to his coworker, Alice.

Its = possessive (The zombie ate its student’s back.)

It’s = it is(It’s not professional to digest students.)

They’re = they are(They’re going to turn into zombies.)

There = refers to a location(You should go over there to hide from zombie colleagues.)

Their = possessive(The zombie ate their brains.)

Can you spot the mistakes?

Is graduation on a tuesday this year? I just talked to a couple students. There very excited!

We would like to extend an invitation to all facuty and staff. This event will recognize their

significant affect on student development.

I asked her how much catering will cost, she said it would be less than $300.

Organization

Tom is advertising an event.He writes the following for a flier:

It’s going to be a ton of fun! Refreshments will be served, starting at 6:30. Panelists include Hillary Clinton, J.Lo & Stephen Hawking. Join the discussion about child pageantry’s impact on American economic growth

on November 8, 2014. 5pm in the L.63.

Brought to you by the Department of Awesome Services & Whimsy

What time will students show up?

Intro

Wrap-Up

Make your point and/or

provide information

Start broad with a brief introduction. Then, express the point of your message clearly and quickly.

Say what you need to say. Provide the necessary information to back up any claims you’re making.

Support your message.

Restate the intention of your message. Relate your point to the broader picture again, if necessary.

Hi, Tom –

As you know, the Economics of Child Pageantry event is next week. We’re hoping for record-breaking attendance! Could you put together a flier to help us advertise to students?

The event will be held on November 8 at 5pm in L.63. The discussion should last about an hour and a half, with pizza served afterward. We have some great panelists coming! Make sure you include their names: Hillary Clinton, J.Lo, and Stephen Hawking. Let’s make sure to use bright colors on the flier, too. We’re going to post it in the Atrium and in front of the escalators in Haaren Hall.

Thanks for all your help! It will really help increase visibility for the event.

Best,Alice

Hi, Tom –

As you know, the Economics of Child Pageantry event is next week. We’re hoping for record-breaking attendance! Could you put together a flier to help us advertise to students?

The event will be held on November 8 at 5pm in L.63. The discussion should last about an hour and a half, with pizza served afterward. We have some great panelists coming! Make sure you include their names: Hillary Clinton, J.Lo, and Stephen Hawking. Let’s make sure to use bright colors on the flier, too. We’re going to post it in the Atrium and in front of the escalators in Haaren Hall.

Thanks for all your help! It will really help increase visibility for the event.

Best,Alice

It’s going to be a ton of fun! Refreshments will be served, starting at 6:30. Panelists include Hillary Clinton, J.Lo & Stephen Hawking. Join the discussion about child pageantry’s impact on American economic growth

on November 8, 2014. 5pm in the L.63.

Brought to you by the Department of Awesome Services & Whimsy

Time for a rewrite! How can Tom make his message more effective?

Encouragethe result you want.

Tone• Expresses your brand

• Establishes the nature of a conversation

Tom Gϋfzup @OhThatTomWho went to Econ of Child Pageantry? How was it?!?!?!?!?!

Alice Gottet @YesThatAlice

Had a blast at Econ of Child Pageantry! Who was your fav speaker? #MyJohnJay

From: Tom Gϋfzup To: Alice GottetWhere are the photos from Econ of Child Pageantry? Thanks.

From: Alice GottetTo: Tom Gϋfzup Hi, Tom. The photos are all in the shared drive, in a folder labeled “Horrible Mistakes – 11.08.14.” Let me know if you have trouble finding them, but they should all be there.

Thanks for all your help with the event! I thought it went great!

- Alice

Keep it concise.

Exercises from Purdue OWL: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/exercises/6/9/24

1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family.

2. The subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.

3. In the not too distant future, college freshmen must all become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.

Take out the clutter(and the passive voice)

Read what you write.

Try…• Reading it aloud• Putting it to the side & re-reading it later

• Change the font & THEN read it

• Write. Wait 15 seconds. Hit send/post.

Resources

• TheOatmeal.com’s Grammar ComicsBecause cartoons make the best teachers.http://theoatmeal.com/tag/grammar

• Grammar Girl: Quick & Dirty TipsShe knows all. http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl

• Purdue University Online Writing LabA wealth of information on grammar, style, citations, formatting, etc.https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/

• The Elements of Style, by William Strunk, Jr. & E.B. WhiteYes, an actual book. Trust me on this one.http://www.amazon.com/The-Elements-Style-Fourth-Edition/dp/020530902X

Questions?