Mirror, Mirror: Understanding Yourself and Your Career Development

Mirror, Mirror: Understanding Yourself and Your Career Development

Jessica Faye Carter2009 Diversity Women’s Business ConferenceGreensboro, NCOctober 16, 2009

© 2009 Jessica Faye Carter. All Rights Reserved.

Overview

•About Self-Reflection and Your Career

•Mirrors & Fairy Tales

•What’s In Your Mirror?

•Self-Assessment Exercise


Self-Reflection and Your Career

•We sometimes get in the way of our own success

•We are each bringing our “selves” into the workplace

‣ Culture (e.g., Eastern European, African-American, Latino/a, Asian, South Asian)

‣ Geographic background

‣ Value systems

- Notions of right and wrong

- Acceptable behavior

•Everyone is bringing different “selves” into the workplace and it is your interaction with these different “selves” that impacts your career development

•People hire, promote, and fire others in the workplace

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them

all?”—The Queen in Snow White


Mirrors and Fairy Tales

• In fairy tales/myths, the mirror or reflection provides insight into the personality traits and motivation of the characters

‣ Snow White

- We ask the mirror questions

- Mirror speaks to us about ourselves

- Mirror speaks to us about others

- We repeatedly approach the mirror with the same questions (get caught in a loop)

‣ Narcissus

- The mirror/reflection can lead to too much self-involvement


What’s In Your Mirror?

•Purpose of looking into the mirror is to get a clear picture of yourself

•Challenge: unclear picture

‣ Personal issues

- insecurities, past experiences, unhappiness, kudos, beauty, success

‣ Influenced by other points of view

- Family, friends, significant others, society, spiritual advisors, etc.

•Solution

‣ Isolate other points of view and your own perspective and issues will emerge

Keys to Self-Reflection

•Take it seriously and look carefully at yourself

• Be careful of “blind spots”

‣ Use feedback you’ve received from friends, family, even “frenemies”/enemies

• Filter out other perspectives

‣ It’s not about how others view you/your situation

• Think carefully about your likes, dislikes, and things you are indifferent to

‣ This is also for your protection

• Keep self-reflective exercises to yourself

‣ This is a personal exercise; it is important that you learn to trust and develop your own judgment

Behavioral Mapping

• Match your personal challenges and issues with workplace behaviors that may be hindering your career (example below):

Workplace Behavior /Challenge

Underlying Emotion Root Cause of Issue

Incessant talker/chatter Needs to feel heard Family: Comes from a large family, didn’t get much attention

Spreads increased amounts of gossip about others

Seeks to divert attention away from self; uncomfortable in environment; feels powerless

Personal: Doesn’t feel like she measures up to others in the workplace

Frequent disagreements with supervisor

Desire for power; wants ideas to be heard and acted upon

Personal: Believes that everyone operates by the same value system


Sarah’s Dilemma

•Sarah, 35, is the Director of Marketing at a well-known consumer products company. She has an MBA from Dartmouth and was featured in BrandWeek for one of her product launches. Most of her colleagues don’t realize that she is from a small mining town in West Virginia and the oldest of 6 children. One day, her supervisor calls her in and hints that while she is viewed as an up-and-comer by senior executives, some colleagues view her as a little too intense. You went to b-school with Sarah and know her background. At lunch one day, she asks you how she should handle this situation.

‣ What is the primary perception issue that Sarah is facing?

‣ What are some ways that Sarah can handle it?

‣ What should Sarah avoid doing?

‣ Is this situation likely to impact Sarah’s career? Why or why not?

“I’m starting with the [wo]man in the mirror”

—From “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson


Key Takeaways

•Know yourself: strengths, weaknesses, things that you’re indifferent to

•Be comfortable with yourself

•Don’t be surprised when others misunderstand your behavior and motivations

•Be prepared to defend yourself, but don’t go overboard or share personal information that can be used against you

•Check in with yourself regularly

•Be kind to yourself; making mistakes is part of life. Learn from them and move on.

Thank You.