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These are some slides from a workshop session I designed and facilitated as part of a "Making an impact" Management Development Programme.
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Questioning and Listening Skills
Facilitated by Ian J Seath
© Copyright ISC 2013
SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Stephen Covey - Seven habits of highly effective people
© Copyright ISC 2013
4 possible communication styles
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Assertive
ResponsivePassive
Aggressive
Attack, Dominate,Threaten
Inform,Persuade,
Direct
Withdraw,Silent,
Apologise
Question, Listen,
Summarise
Characteristics
© Copyright ISC 2013
AssertiveInformIn ControlConvincePersuadeInfluence
ResponsiveQuestionExploreSummariseListenEmpathise
AggressiveDominateSarcasticPatroniseAttackPut down othersDismissive
PassiveApologise (for everything)WithdrawSit on the fenceKeep the peacePut down self
© Copyright ISC 2013
Assertive - Responsive
Aggressive - Passive
WIN
/ WIN
WIN
/ LO
SE
In balance with others Relaxed
Eye contact
Chooses influential position
Non-threatening
Open posture Paced
Closed posture Avoids eye contact
Out of balance with others - stand vs. sit
Erratic Tense
LISTENING SKILLS
Most people listen in order to respond; good listeners listen in order to understand.
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Listening vs. Hearing
Animals and machines can hear; i.e. respond to sensory inputs Sheepdog following commands from shepherd Voice recognition software on a PC
Only people can listen; i.e. interpret the meaning behind words and react accordingly “Can you pass me some water please?”
© Copyright ISC 2013
Listen and remember
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Time
%Remembered
Repetition
Impact
Recency Effect(Strong Summary/Ending)
Start-up Effect(Strong Introduction)
Keys to effective listening
Find areas of interest Judge content, not
delivery Hold your fire Listen for ideas Be flexible in note-taking
Work at listening Resist distractions Exercise your mind Keep your mind open Capitalise on the fact that
thought is faster than speech
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Active listening
Behaviours which demonstrate active listening include... An attentive posture, leaning forward, with uncrossed
arms (“open” body language) Nodding your head Smiling (genuinely) Verbal cues (“Uh huh”, “I see”, “Yes”, “Go on”) Making eye contact (but not staring) Asking Reflective Questions Taking notes Summarising
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Active listening
Confirmation and acknowledgement “Yes, I agree” “Uh huh, I see”
Showing empathy “What you seem to be saying is…” “So, you feel…” “If I were in your position…” “I understand your points…”
Appropriate Body Language Open and positive
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HOW YOU ARE, IS AS IMPORTANT AS WHAT YOU SAY!
We pay 5 times more attention to the body language than we do to the words.
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© Copyright ISC 2013
© Copyright ISC 2013
“Do you want to come to my
party?”
“I think you’re great
Ref!”
“Fantastic decision!”“I like you
very much”
Questioning techniques Open Questions
What, Where, When, Who, Why, How
To get the candidate talking and open up discussion
Closed Questions Did, Can, Was, Were, Is To confirm facts and close
down discussion Probe Questions
“Why did that happen?” “How did that affect you?” To get behind the first answer
Reflective Questions “You mentioned training, in what
way was...” “Challenging, how was that...?” Reflects back the candidate’s
answer and leads to a further question
Demonstrates active listening Leading Questions
“Do you prefer X or Y?” “You agree, don’t you?” Should not be used
Multiple Questions “What... & was...?” Should not be used
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Remember...“Prejudice is a great time saver.
It enables you to form opinions without having to gather the facts.”(Anon.)
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Ian J SeathImprovement Skills Consulting Ltd.(November 2013)
07850 728506
@ianjseath
www.improvement-skills.co.uk